this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If patel wasn't director of fbi, he'd already been deported by racist ICE agents.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 17 points 5 days ago

Not gonna lie, he totally looks like someone who was picked up randomly on the street, given uniform, and told to "do as I say".

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 6 days ago

Sounds pretty open and shut to me, so I'm totally convinced - Kash Patel is a treasonous moron.

[–] rising_man@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

The fact that they can get those messages easily.

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 7 points 6 days ago

They are at the stage where like Trump, they just aren't being held to any standard that would be expected of others.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 4 points 6 days ago
[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 224 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

I adore the meme that Patel's FBI fabricated those texts between the alleged Kirk shooter and his partner. Just the fact that they've done such a poor job gaining public trust that a bunch of people watching the story ended up like "Okay, I wouldn't have thought the FBI would fabricate evidence like this before, but Kash Patel has utterly convinced me that they fabricated these texts. Look how conveniently they answer every single outstanding question for the investigation and sound like they were written by a 40 year old federal agent and not a college kid from Utah."

It's objectively fucking hilarious. Especially if the texts are actually real.

Its almost feels like a scene in a comedy where a grown ass man is playing with dolls that look like his enemies and he makes them speak like morons.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 90 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's comical how stupid they think people are, and reprehensible how some people are dumb enough to gobble it up

They think people are stupid because they themselves are stupid.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 32 points 1 week ago

Have you met Trumpers?

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

right? i mean the gov fabricated the entire reason for the vietnam war among other things. it’s kind of what a gov does lol.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You might even say they manufactured it all to gain the consent of the people.

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

found the Chomsky! 😉😂💚

[–] obre@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

And the Iraq war

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Oh my god I hadn't read them before but those are 100% faked wtf. The only time I've seen a zoomer talk like that is when they're mocking or imitating older people.

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 28 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Yeah no they're fucking wild. Oh yeah let me just text my partner telling them the location of a note that I totally made admitting to doing it but that I planned on never telling anyone. A letter mind you that was apparently destroyed but not before taking a picture of for fucking posterity I guess? Oh and remember how I was engraving bullets the other day? That thing that you were presumably there for if I'm asking you if you remember.

[–] mikesizachrist@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

Also, what kid (or anyone) calls his car a "vehicle" or a cop car a "squad car". It's all in cop-speak: circle back, vehicle, squad car

[–] ButtermilkBiscuit@feddit.nl 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wut?? Do you have a link? I searched but only coming up with a fox new video seems unrelated. Must be behind the curve on this story I haven't seen these texts but that sounds fucking hilarious.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] ButtermilkBiscuit@feddit.nl 31 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Jesus Christ is this for real? It's like the AI video they released after Kirk got shot. I'm not normally a big conspiracy person but something is fucking weird here.

[–] Macchi_the_Slime@piefed.blahaj.zone 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Right? I'm not a big conspiracy person either. But my Gods between the Epstein stuff, the live tweeting this investigation, and how hard they've pushed the left wing violence narrative it's so hard to look at those messages and not think something is fishy.

It feels so much like that time the Russians tried to brag about catching some Ukrainian terrorist and stage a photo with all the evidence they seized including 3 random copies of The Sims. Or that time the IDF tried to claim they found this pristine copy of Mein Kampf in a child's bedroom they bombed. They've done so much lying that any info that's convenient for them I have a hard time believing isn't a lie.

The guy absolutely could just have been "Like That" and overshared. I've definitely known people like that. But with everything that's happened I just can't help but feel like it's suspicious that the texts just so conveniently happen to just perfectly answer all these questions the administration has in just the perfect way.

[–] killingspark@feddit.org 11 points 6 days ago

I lost a little faith I didn't even know I had left while reading these weird ass definitely crafted messages

[–] jontree255@lemmy.world 82 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Patel perpetually looks like he shit his pants.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 week ago

He does so in solidarity with Dear Leader

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

With his standard combination of surprise, fear, and nausea I'd say he looks more like someone else just shit his pants.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 6 days ago

finally, The Mystery of Who Shit My Pants is real

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 week ago

You would, too, if you were that grossly under qualified

[–] Snowcano@startrek.website 72 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This had my wife knocking on the door and asking why I was laughing in the bathroom.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 19 points 1 week ago

'now you get why I laughed the first time I saw it, baby'

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble about the otherwise obvious validity of these messages, but it's curious that James Comey has his wife in his contacts as James Comey. Everything else looks totally authentic though, and James Comey is clearly in some hot water.

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh, that’s just short for Mrs. James Comey, in the traditional manner.

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

Some people would just use the more traditional shorthand, "Mother."

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[–] peaceful_world_view@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago

Looks legit, I will need nor seek anymore information and will believe this post as truth until the day I die.

[–] phoenixarise@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago

See what happens when you have a podcaster in charge of an important position? We get clickbait for news. 😂

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 27 points 1 week ago

Kash has the look of a kid after their parent found their poop draw.

[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Aw so nice that they gave him a jacket that says FBI and everything

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Kash Patel has all the charisma of a full bottle of cum.

[–] Mrkawfee@feddit.uk 3 points 5 days ago

And he has a hot, totally not a Mossad agent, girlfriend.

[–] TheColonel@reddthat.com 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Let’s not be too generous.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

They never said it was anything close to fresh. That bottle has been filled over the span of multiple years and has a smell

[–] causepix@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It sounds like you're speaking from experience

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

I've known plenty of conservatives over the years, so unfortunately yes....

Seeing him speak makes me wonder how the fuck did he manage to make a living as a podcaster. This guy couldn't sell me a dollar for 50 cents.

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 2 points 5 days ago

I think he's more like the cumbox rather than a bottle.

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Okay now leak the Epstein files..

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