this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2025
406 points (98.6% liked)

Greentext

7262 readers
772 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] individual@toast.ooo 2 points 9 hours ago

win them over

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 129 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Have you not played Luigi's Mansion?

[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

Person wielding vacuum cleaner when countering this threat: "lol skill issue"

[–] stray@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It does make a ton of thematic sense that the counter to a purely magical threat is a technological weapon.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

You might like Arcanum: Of Steamworks & Magicka Obscura. The clashing of magic and technology plays a major role in the mechanics.

[–] EtnaAtsume@lemmy.world 97 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

This may come as a shock to anons who filter their entire existence through video games but literature does not need to operate according to rules of game balance.

[–] i_am_a_cardboard_box@lemmy.world 65 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Cinema, not literature. In the books the undead army is way less OP than in the movie adaptation. Their only weapon is fear, and they do not liberate minas tirith, but only scare the mercenaries off their black sail ships. Aragon uses the boats to quick travel to minas tirith with his elf and half elven friends and fresh troops from the south.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Their only weapon is fear

Fear and surprise

[–] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency.

[–] anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope....

[–] Klear@quokk.au 8 points 2 weeks ago

...

I'll come in again.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 9 points 2 weeks ago

What about the limitless coffers of Rome?

[–] prototact@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Ye I don't blame Jackson for changing it, there was less time to explain in the movie and the payoff was bigger. What works in books does not always work in films and vice versa

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zloubida@sh.itjust.works 38 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yes! The answer is “you can't, and that's the point.”

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man, even games don't need to operate according to the rules of game balance. Just look at [current hot live service game's most recent update]!

[–] AGD4@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man, [current hot live service game] has really gone down hill since [game's most recent update] released. It's like the Devs don't even care anymore, y'know?

[–] stray@pawb.social 11 points 2 weeks ago

It's been shit for over 10 years now, but I just keep paying them every month, and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

"A story is not a machine that does what you tell it. A story is a beast with a life of its own. You can create it, shape it, but as the story grows, it starts wanting things of its own. Change one thing, and you set off a chain reaction of events that spreads through the whole thing. The characters have to be true to themselves. The events need to follow a logic that fits the story. A single flaw and the magic is gone. The story dies. - Alan Wake" - Sam Lake

Established rules and constraints must be consistent throughout the story, otherwise nerds on the internet with nothing better to do will call you a hack. See: the new Star Wars. Force healing, my ass.

[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

I agree, David Lynch is objectively a bad writer.

/s

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 56 points 2 weeks ago
[–] PuddleOfKittens@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Can cause physical harm

The irony is that they can't, but their greatest weapon is that the people they fight think they can, and flee without even trying. And this post is making the exact same mistake, while also assuming they're invincible. The answer to the post is the post. That or pointing to the post and laughing.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Book version. In the movie version they absolutely can cause physical harm. A ghost sword and Aragorn's even stop each other, iirc.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never been a huge LotR fan so I don't necessarily remember any details, but isn't that because the sword had special qualities (being the sword of the ghosts' king IIRC) rather than because the ghosts can interact with physical objects?

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

For that one scene yes, for the next like 20 minutes of the movie where they jump on top of elephants and stab everybody riding them to death little bit different.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Psychological warfare sure is ... funny, isn't it?

You ever hear about this?

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/dotmil/arkin020199.htm

For Iraq War 1, the US wanted to develop the ability to project a giant hologram either into or from the sky... of the prophet Mohammed... who would tell the Iraqi forces to stand down, presumably via spec ops placed speaker arrays.... or... something.

... They later realized that no one has any idea what Mohammed looks like.

... Because depictions of him....are widely viewed as heresy by many (most? basically all?) Muslims.

Oh and of course... they did not know how to build a hologram projector in the early 90s, either.

We do apparently know how to do at least something like that now, though.

https://idstch.com/technology/photonics/3-d-holograms-will-be-employed-for-battlefield-intelligence-military-planning-and-explosives-disposal/

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

The irony is that they can’t

Pretty sure I saw a bunch of these guys sucking people's souls out or whatever, during the battle, at least in the movie.

From the book, its ambiguous. Per Legolas to the hobbits, following the battle:

Faint cries I heard, and dim horns blowing, and a murmur as of countless far voices: it was like the echo of some forgotten battle in the Dark Years long ago. Pale swords were drawn; but I know not whether their blades would still bite, for the Dead needed no longer any weapon but fear

A lot of Tolkien's storytelling involves this kind of Word of Mouth recounting, such that it's hard to know whether you're getting real High Magic or just mythology passed down second hand.

However you slice it, I'd describe "literally scares you to death" as physical harm.

[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 42 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They're a limited-use item - once they do enough to fulfill their oath, they won't keep fighting. In the books, they didn't even get as far as Minas Tirith - they were done once they defeated the corsairs. Also, it wasn't clear that they could actually cause physical harm.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

We need a bigger trap!

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

Opportunity for LotR x Ghostbusters brainrot

[–] oce@jlai.lu 37 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Enchanted weapons or your own army of a corresponding ghostly type.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And Sauron didn't have a few?

[–] oce@jlai.lu 15 points 2 weeks ago

He didn't have time to cast or summon, it was not in his primary deck for this battle.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago
[–] carrylex@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Nomad@infosec.pub 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Well, it's not like the enemy army has one if the two most ancient and most powerful magicians on their side. They'll figure something out.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Two actually. Sauron and Sarumon are the same class of being. Balrogs are too, but iirc they're more on Morgoth's side

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 weeks ago

Its funny how this scene implies that Aragorn came up with this flashy theatrical entrance idea, explained it to the ghosts, and they were all like "hell yea thats sounds bad-ass lets do it"

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Superior diplomacy, intelligence, and/or subterfuge and intrigue.

... and/or superior magic.


The Dead Men of Dunharrow only respond to and follow Aragorn because they believe he is the heir to Isildur.

Make them doubt that.

... Or just kill Aragon, specifically, with extreme prejudice.

Or, generate a pretender heir to Isildur, mislead them.


Or... and I am... admittedly not sure if this is possible within LotR canon...

Basically, get Sauron or Saurumon to directly intervene with some kind of magic that is at least as, or more powerful than that of Isildur, such thst they can be paralyzed or rendered combat ineffective in some way.

(Possibly also could help with the first plan of generating some kind of doubt, confusion or deception)

In more modern military lingo: Re evaluate your enemy threat profiles and re allocate resources and attention accordingly.

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Call the Ghostbusters, duh. They ain't afraid of no ghost.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Close your eyes and say you don’t believe in ghosts

[–] stray@pawb.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

I'm my experience, simply refusing to acknowledge the supernatural has made such entities incapable of properly manifesting 100% of the time.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 weeks ago

"I ain't afraid of no ghost"

10 necromancers turning them against each other

load more comments
view more: next ›