Do you want to sit on my porch and crochet?
this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2025
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I'm sorry I can't, I was cursed to never touch yarn until true love's kiss. How about we go frolicking in a field full of phlox?
I can't I'm afraid, I'm too tall. Do you want to go to a present wrapping class?
Do you fancy going clothes shopping sunday morning?
No thanks, I've given clothes up for Lent. How about shopping for spare tires instead?
Sorry I can't do that, I'm a prima ballerina. How about shopping for cherry tomatoes?
Sorry, red foods are satanic. How about shopping for pet squirrels?
Apologies but red squirrels give me nightmares. Would you like to shop for teapots instead?
Oh man I'd love to but I'm on a strict no-buy for teapots. How about we go halfsies on a gallon of tapioca?
I'm sorry mate, I'm tapioca teetotal. Would you like to buy some blue coat hangers?
Let's go outside for a walk
I can't, I'm allergic to nitrogen, which is in outdoor air. Let's bake a cake instead.
I absolutely can't I'm morally opposed to cakes. Do you fancy going dancing?
That's way too dangerous since I'm a feet model. Why don't we play badminton instead?
I'd love to, but my doctor says I might explode if I exercise. Would you like to climb a mountain instead?
No way, a psychic told me a mountain would kill me one day. Would you be interested in going for a stroll on the train tracks instead?
Oooo sorry, I can't. I have webbed toes. How about window shopping?
Nah, my house already has windows. How about sushi?
I'm so sorry, last time I ate sushi I got arrested. May I suggest we play dnd?
I can't do that, wizards offend me. Do you want to go paragliding at night?
Do you want to go to the cinema tomorrow at 3?