this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2025
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[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Kinda reminds me of boot camp, using psychological attacks to break down men's will and have him disregulated and complient

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[–] pyre@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago (4 children)

so many comments claiming this post blames or makes fun of men and incels that i went back and reread the whole thing... what the fuck are the lot of you even responding to‽ there's nothing like that in the post, and on the contrary it says men are victimized by this. Jesus, some of you are really willing to take anything as a slight. beats self reflection i guess.

[–] ThirdConsul@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago (11 children)

it doesn't blame men

Is your point that manosphere is not "men" but... Idk, a subspecies of a very aggressive and mean bear?

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[–] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

this post brings up some good points, but I want to be clear that turning men into women hating incels who will die alone is the GOAL of all this rhetoric. it doesn't have to be that way.

if your reaction to this post is "women bad" you should take a step back and realize they've already gotten you to take the first step down the pipeline.

[–] Zaplinaki@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

be 5' 7"

not attractive to most women (aww)

every airplane seat feels like first class

live longer on average (aww)

workout once a week and look buff

no car is too small

sleep like a king in beds of any size

women generally trust you more easily cos your presence is non-threatening

You know it's not that bad of a trade. Y'all sixfooters have fun with the girls.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I'm not quite 5'8, and I was in the Marines, where obviously size was made to be something, especially in the infantry, but I always used to just tell dudes that I'm harder to shoot, and in the unlikely event they get me before you, I'm easier to carry to safety. Fucking win-win as far as I'm concerned.

And with those days long behind me, and married with a short wife and hort kids of my own, I'm the biggest thing in the world to them. So just find an equally short person to spend your life with. Or don't, nothing matter!

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 7 points 2 days ago

I'm gay and everyone is the same height to me once you get 'em horizontal

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[–] certified_expert@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (5 children)
[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's a sphere made out of naked men. It's a dangerous weapon because of its incredible sexiness.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

basically toxic and hyper masculinity encapsulated into a community, a cult of sorts.

[–] treesapx@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

An insulating community of conservative influencers and their fans, focusing on giving lost males "meaning" by feeding their ego.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

pickup artists seemed to heavily reinforce the manosphere alot prior to the likes of tate, and peterson. and Gymbros fall for it as well. especially the ones that are make jokes about people who are not going to gyms, or they eat certain foods that the gymbro doesnt like, eventhough they arnt the one eating. they always make a snide or passive aggressive comment.(its none of your business)

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Study on men who are chronically single showed the common denominator: having extremely low confidence. Now that I think about it, this post corroborates the target profile of negging by abusers-- victims who have low self-esteem.

There are, for the lack of a better word, not so good looking men or short men having relationships, in one form or another, with ridiculously good looking women because these men have confidence without being too bragadacious. Of course, there are shallow women who go for looks alone (same as men), but there are just as many kind-hearted and less shallow women who prefer men with personality over looks and vice versa.

Low confidence and self-critical thoughts are what impedes chronically single men. Sometimes, it is indeed on the state of mind. And this vulnerability of lonely men is exploited by manosphere to create incels. I don't have a solution to address the problem but this is a general observation.

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[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Podcast episode #120 (Invicil) from Reply All should be required listening in this day and age.

Invicil: How a shy, queer Canadian woman accidentally invented one of the internet’s most toxic male communities.

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[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago
[–] SalamenceFury@lemmy.world 61 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

This is essentially cult tactics, yeah. As much as I loathe incels... Some of them genuinely need help.

The ones who are in too deep to literally start calling women "foids" tho? Throw them in the woodchipper. Dick first.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago

They're in a decentralized cult. They all need help, but some of them need a lot more help before they're going to be release candidate males

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[–] CAWright@infosec.pub 70 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Isn't this basically what religion does, as well?

[–] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 86 points 3 days ago

Some religions.

At-will employment too.

"You're nothing special - easily replaceable. I'm doing you a favour by letting you have this job."

Basically anywhere where a power imbalance is an intended feature, not a necessary evil.

[–] NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip 46 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

In a broader sense, it is what cults do.

"Nobody accepts you... but us" "You will die alone... unless you help us" and so forth.

or... "They just can't take a joke... but we can"

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[–] Flickerby@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 days ago (12 children)

"OMG these people are incel losers they have no worth and deserve to die!"

"Incel losers" commits a horrific crime because they were treated like they have no worth and deserve to die

"OMG can you believe it? We should bully them harder, that will fix things!"

Maybe the fucking problem is people treating these poor people so horribly. We want to PREVENT such things happening which means addressing the root of the problem and trying to catch people who could fall into those destructive manoaphere circles BEFORE they get the idea to commit mass murder. I'm PRETTY positive the solution isn't to bully them more.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago

"Incel losers" commits a horrific crime because they were treated like they have no worth and deserve to die

What makes you think that was why a particular crime was committed? There are lots and lots of people who get bullied and are treated like shit and they don't act out in some horrible, violent way.

I think it's these communities that they're in that encourage that kind of behavior. We need better support structures for our society so that people who need community can find something healthy.

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[–] wampus@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Eh, I agree and disagree with the image text. There are similarities, yes, but I wouldn't view it quite as closely connected as the post implies. Main reason being that there's a difference between using verbal abuse to control someone's actions -- like what it implies an abusive boyfriend would do to control his gf -- and using generally third party reference points to construct an admittedly grim world view for a broad demographic group. The manosphere approach is closer, I'd say, to the marketing done by the women's beauty industry in this regard.

Ie. there are certain trends / norms that women tend to cycle through, and certain beauty standards that people generally seem to expect from women (without digging in to that!). The beauty industry leverages that and puts out products re-enforcing those norms / helping ppl align to those norms. There are lots of people that find alternative body types attractive, and/or that have more realistic expectations. But if you're a woman who's obsessed with beauty trends, it can become an unhealthy obsession leading to potential issues like anorexia.

In that it's toxic when taken to an extreme, and in that its fundamentals are based in "reality", the beauty industry's similar to manosphere rhetoric. The manosphere's "short guys get no girls" mentality is backed by many short guys experiences with dating (especially online, where they're pre-filtered!); similarly, a fat girl with lopsided facial features will have difficulty, making the beauty industries products/message more enticing/convincing. They both leverage the generally negative real world experiences of their target audiences to 'ground' their message. Both movements also have equatable super stars -- "Supermodels"/OnlyFans girls/Twitch Streamers/Whatever who are deemed the most beautiful women, and "Tech bros" who are fathering armies of children and touting right wing eugenics-like ideals.

Mostly pointing this alternative comparison out, because I think there's a bit of grey on the manosphere stuff. An obsession with beauty standards/industry stuff is unhealthy, but in moderation its ok/beneficial; an obsession with "men's rights"/"men's issues" is unhealthy, but in moderation it's likely a good thing. More guys being more conscious about their health, and getting more exercise, isn't a bad thing after all -- and that's one of the themes in that manosphere clusterfuck.

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[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Yup, that's why tate sold the worst dating advice in the world while being a sex trafficker, ensuring repeat business.

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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 39 points 3 days ago

It was an abusive exwife in my case, but yes. It's abuse all the same. It does the same thing.

It isolates, it breaks you down, it makes you forget who you were, and then when you least expect it, they are no longer dependable for anything and you have nothing left.

And they feel nothing.

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