People. You don't need this shit. I promise.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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It's amazing that they actually designed the beds to fail in the worst possible way. I mean this is cartoon crazy.
You know this bed is great and all, but what it's really missing is a mandatory connection to the Internet!
...jfc
“Carla! Carla! What the fuck is this? I know you sleep on a 25. A 25 or a 30 if you fuck up swiping. I know for a fucking fact that you would NEVER choose to sleep on a 60, and yet I found a goddamn record of a 60 when I was out last week. Who was it? Who was here?”
I really can’t see any other reason. A dial isn’t sexy but it’s far easier in every way
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Build your shit to be fail safe. The idea that this was less bad if you self hosted is ridiculous. You will have much more outages that way.
You may be right to criticize cloud everything, but as I said, just not the problem here. Only the trigger.
So instead of it defaulting to last known good settings, it couldn’t poll AWS to retrieve the user settings and either just went into debug alert mode or the hardcoded defaults are full upright and max temp. More premium products kneecapped by poor management in a race to enshittify everything
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People in the 80's: "In the year 2025 we're going to have hoverboards and flying cars!"
2025: "I can't use my bed because the servers are down"
Stop making the future stupid. Never buy anything that needs to be connected to a server to work for no good reason.
Smart products themselves are not the issue. The issue is making everything cloud based. The solution is companies designing their products so they can be controlled over the network.
It's a fucking bed! It doesn't need a persistent connection to some server. The problem is that they also want to mine and sell your data.
That's the key. They want to mine and sell the data
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A reminder to not buy "smart" home appliances unless you can self-host it's internet connectivity or its "smart" features are optional.
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Ha, this reminds me of the death of the guy that gave the world lead poisoning.
He also invented CFCs, the chemical that nearly destroyed the earth's protective ozone layer. Quite a guy.
A one man environmental disaster. J. R. McNeill opined that Midgley "had more adverse impact on the atmosphere than any other single organism in Earth's history"
Never buying smart anything. Wish we could buy a smart president though.
Reminds me that nurse interview in Spain during the blackout:
"But your hospital doesn't have a backup generator?? -Oh we have solar panels, we could be running off the grid! But the power management system requires an Internet connection, and it's down!"
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I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. But why does a bed need to be smart? This is the dumbest timeline ever. It really is
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I feel like if I was gonna put a computer attached to a motor & heater inside a bed, the very first step would be making sure that if the software goes wrong, it always defaults to staying bed shaped and not catching fire.
I know I know hindsight is 20/20, I'm sure I'm just missing something. Venture capitalists would just give their money to any random idiot with a pitch, right?
why? what if they want more money and decide to make it go subscription based? do you and the shareholders want to risk people just....unplugging them and continuing to use them? the mere idea made me drop my monocle .
Close your eyes, take a moment and just imagine the engineering culture at Eight Sleep. I'd almost rather be homeless than work there.
lol, e-waste beds.
I’ve heard these beds are actually quite effective at helping you sleep and then wake up more naturally.
But they have wrapped entirely local events (it’s all just timers, folks) behind a cloud-exclusive subscription and the product is useless on a sunny day like we had yesterday.
They’re enormously expensive and the subscription serves no useful purpose other than to line the pockets of the investors.
I have a strict rule of no cloud dependency in my house. Otherwise, I’d be interested - if the price was remotely reasonable.
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Not that it isn’t wildly ridiculous and stupid to have an internet connected bed, but couldn’t you just unplug it if it’s overheating?
That's what customer support would have told the poor clueless customers if the hotline had not been an AI agent running on AWS!
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So, what would be the community that is the opposite of buy it for life?
Seriously, I get that internet is ubiquitous in some areas, but everything should have the ability to function correctly without internet access.
I am more shocked that there are people who are interested in "smart" furnitures and appliance.
Smart devices are fine - it usually just means remote control or status. Plenty of use in that.
The problem is that no one can be arsed to buy a local hub and figure out how to connect it, so every company just builds an app and makes it cloud connected. That way they can farm your stupidity.
It’s not hard to make a device that works locally (it’s way easier than making a cloud service) but it’s far less lucrative.
That being said if I bought a $2000 mattress cover and it didn’t work offline I’d have gotten my fucking money back.
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Of course someone made a bed whose controls require an API with internet access..
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