Turns out every game sounds bad if you purposefully describe it badly.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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I mean, this is the essence of 95% of GTA missions. Just like 95% of RPG missions are a variation of clear dungeon, kill boss, retrieve item.
Platformers are just running and jumping towards the right and repeating.
Old school ones. Anything half modern lets you go left as well.
But the goal is always to the right (counting metroidvanias as their own genre)
super metroid final boss is left
Super Mario's boss is right.
Both sides are equally bad.
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"clear dungeons, kill boss, retrieve item" is just "go from a to b, kill x at b, go from b to c"
The key is making the dungeon/boss fun. The quests are just to lead you through the content.
If you don't like fighting through dungeons and fighting bosses then the game may not be for you.
Like with GTA getting to places needs to be enjoyable.
And taking out 99% of the rest of the game built around the basic skeleton structure makes it sound bleak and boring.
Start game
Make number go up
Become better at making number go up
Make number go up more
Somehow almost every game ever made
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This is every game for the people that skip dialog and cutscenes.
Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding. I don't get that TV show, nothing had any context and there was no motivation or lessons to learn, stuff just randomly exploded from being shot at.
Now do a recap of a TV show, except skip all the parts where they aren't shooting a gun or stuff isn't exploding
The Office would be pretty short
Even the most shooty->explodey TV show there is would be pretty short if you skipped all the good parts.
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85% of my time in GTA is spent driving like a jackass for fun.
Username reminds me of a Bash.org quote:
#265532 + (6778) - [X]
SABDO: on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
SABDO: and it typed out "France"
SABDO: we were like, wtf?
Edit: I think I commented on the incorrect comment. Oh well.
So glad Bash.org got archived!
There's an archive?! My life just got a lot better.
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Pretty sure Minecraft was the most profitable game of all time.
And you can be that reductive for pretty much all games. Run right and jump on mushrooms. Watch shapes rotate and fall. Punch cubes. Three of the other most profitable games of all time.
CoD as a FRANCHISE beats them both, but you have to keep in mind that metric for GTA V and Minecraft are indeed, for single video games.
That's true (to be even more precise, the GTA metric is also for the franchise...which GTAV makes up $8.5 billion of >.>). How about Candy Crush at $20 billion?
"This game named after a crime involving cars involves too much driving and crime"
start game
go from A to B
press button/scan object
go from B to C
solve 3rd grade puzzle
go from C to D
scan object and defend while npc does things
optionally sneak from D to E
repeat until the game is over
And the best part is, I'm sure nobody even knows what game I'm talking about, but they think they might have it narrowed to 3 or 4.
Some of my favorite games on the planet are literally "wander around opening doors" and "go to a place to solve simple puzzles, press some buttons, and don't die"
It's literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.
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ME Andromeda?
It's Tetris, right? It's gotta be Tetris.
live in point A
something calls someone away to point B
in order to change it back they have to sacrifice something important
return to point A
they are changed as well
and the best part nobody even knows which story I'm talking about
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I was gonna say it couldn't be Hunt Showdown, but it actually fits pretty well, minus the friendly NPC. Start game, collect clues, fight the boss, wait for the banish and try to defend, then take the boss token to the extract, all while trying not to die from enemy players. Of course the enemy players make it exciting, and I guess that's why I'm not that into single player games.
How else can you create a good player experience while not alienating casual players though?
watch dogs comes to mind first, just because of the 3rd grade puzzle part
Star Trek Online is what comes to mind immediately for me
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At least Vice City had fun missions like dropping bombs in trashcans with the world’s most fickle RC helicopters
"fun"... yeah, not exactly a word I'd use to describe that mission.
Not sure if they fixed it in the PC port, but I enjoyed it when I played it last. I think I failed the mission only once, if at all?
I imagine they reduced the number of enemies or their aggro range, or raised the timer by a ton
That's San Andreas. I loved all their missions and even though they also could be reduced to only, driving, flying and shooting they all felt distinct and memorable.
Invading Madd Dogg's mansion and stealing lyric book and delivering it back OG Loc who had a party in your hood was fun. Stealing jetpack for a hippy, burying alive someone in construction site while they are in portable toilet, doing heists with Catalina, all that was fun.
I can't seem to recall a single GTA 4 or 5 mission / moment truly memorable besides the line "Causin, let's go bowling". Maybe it's all related to when I played SA and probably my memory was better then.
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L take. GTA5 is a solid game. Never cared for online tho
You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.
Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That's why it's number 1. It's also why you're murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it's a titty bar.
You've just described nearly all action, adventure, and shooter games.
Duck Hunt?
Facts. Boring as fuck
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