Asklemmy

Blow some cannabis smoke in my face and point me in the direction of a comfortable chair. Now it’s a chill hangout session, not a boss fight. But you still win.

Completion reward: let’s share some pretzels

Ask me about something I'm above average knowledged about that I'm also interested in, and then you can disarm the bomb, save the pricess, destroy my entire species before I'm done oversharing the introductory part or even its preface.

Bring as many npcs in the room as possible; then wait for the social anxiety to make me lock up

Whistle any 70s rock song melody

Ask nicely if they can scooch past. Id be mortified that I was in the way at all.

They'd probably handle me the same way as the fish boss in Earthworm Jim. Just one smack to the face and I'm done. That's all it takes.

A look of disappointment and a sigh.

idk probably like detaching my brain stem with a hammer or something

Steady, unrelenting emotional abuse.

By making me chase after them for more than 30 seconds. Just go ahead, I'll catch up later.

Attack at dawn.

Wait out my timer or go around me.

⚠️ wet floor ⚠️

I was driven mad by the unrelenting noises of society. The clamor, the insanity of humanity. The protagonistic figure decides a more peaceful option is adequate for my type of villainy and offers me quiet respite. A lovely cottage suitable for my hermit-like needs.

With this, I am at peace. I have a home. I have quiet. No quarrels with the world anymore

Subtly undermine my self-confidence.

Show me the error in my ways so I can learn from it, or transform me from bad to good.

I dunno, but you can skip the boss fight if you bring me some nice food

Cheese.

Either the edible kind or the repetitive-bullshit-but-it-works kind.

Distract me with food and drink.

Crouton Cannon
Glade Plugins

Takes away my coffee

Exploiting my hubris.

I actually wrote out an outline for this back when I was making small videogames as a hobby. I never actually made the game, which was probably overly ambitious, which is fitting because it was a game about ambition and hubris with me as the villains (multiverse shenanigans) and a pair of scrappy teenage sleuths as the protagonists.

Probably shooting the chips from cutting a log with a chainsaw at my face. That’s gotten be at some point painful and extremely annoying.

I'm gonna say donuts

Laugh at me and say I’m stupid.

I'm not an incompetent fighter or anything. I assume it wouldn't be a chance encounter, though, and I'd probably be prepared. In that case, well, they'd definitely have their work cut out for them. Prepare to dodge bullets, and engage in hand-to-hand combat with someone who can take a good beating before giving up.

I'm exhausted easily in my current state, however. Anything more than a short close quarters fight will likely do me in. That is, importantly, assuming I don't use 💫drugs💫.

Showing me a picture of your mother lmao gottem

Just start yelling at me and I'll probably shut down and cry.