Sponsored by toxoplasmosis
this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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You can't tell me what to
oh, a pretty cat!
If toxoplasmosis reduces my heart attack risk and stress with no discernable side effects sign me up!
toxoplasmosis saw all the microbes in our gut living in harmony and wondered why the fuck everything else isn't doing that, hell yeah let's just make the humans feel happy and they'll ensure our survival FOREVER
Cat people have 40% less risk of heart attack.*
Cat people are also overrepresented cohorts of wealthy people and women, two cohorts who have a much lower risk of heart attack than the most at risk cohort of poor men.
So what you are saying is the more cats I get the richer I will be?
Yes that's exactly how causation and correlation work, go for it!
And more feminine
You don't have to convince me, I was already sold.
But I'll get cat hair on my programmer socks!
But I still have lots of cats, right?
Scientists have discovered that having more cats reduces the risk of heart attacks and increases wealth with no upper limit*
*study sponsored by toxoplasmosis foundation
Correlation and Causation are just fancy-pantsy words used by experts to lie to us common folk!
No but cats are correlated with wealth, I’m not implying any sort of causation, unlike the post lol.
Because they’re famously expensive to keep?
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Isn't it also that pet owners in general have better health?
Possibly. It would make sense, people with poor health who tend to also be poorer financially are less likely to have the ability to take care of a pet.
I have 2 cats.
One of them seems to sense when I'm upset or unwell, and will come to hug me, wrap herself around my neck and purr in my ear.
Then the other one will sneak up on us from behind, jump on her back, and start a cat fight on top of my head.
I love them both, but sometimes I wonder whether getting a second cat was the right decision.
Some cats are grade A dingdongs!
Still love them all.
Petting a cat calms down & relieves stress.
There's a 50/50 chance that a cat will try to claw your eyes out if you rub their belly, but yes.
Survivorship bias: those who live through the encounter have lowered stress.😁
The calming down and stress relief all happens once the petting session ends.
Knowing that you survived probably gives you a nice hormonal boost:-).
Depends on the cat. There's some that will let you do just about anything and at most bat you with a paw, claws retracted. Then there's others that if you don't pay attention and pet them just a fraction wrong will take your arm off. Know your cat.
This is true, I had both living with me at the same time for years.
Sort of still do but the bitey half is more playful now (different cats)
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Your stress will reduce to 0 if you die, so
My cat learned I can’t see when I have the VR headset on and knocked a lamp over onto my head.
Wholesome. Except the 4th-panel propaganda. That poor woman is dead after that...
Depends on the cats personality, some will tolerate, others will kill.
Look at the cat's eyes! She is about to die. That's why no 5th panel
Yup
My neighbours cat sleeps on my couch when the door is open and he always wants me to scratch his belly.
Nice, that's basically free healthcare.
Yeah, it's pretty great. All I have to do is feed their cats when they're away.
normalize communal cats
why should people just have one or two cats when everyone could have 35 cats?
So someone better than me at maths could probably figure out how many cats I'd need to heat my with them room (and if the catfood etc needed would be cheaper than heating) ...
I can answer the second question:
Generally, hot-blooded mammals transform 90% of the energy they get from food into heat.
So using a cat for heating your room is about 90% as effective as burning cat food in an oven.
Here's some napkin math for where I live:
1kg of firewood has 4kWh = 4000 kcal
which is about equivalent to 1kg of really cheap dry cat food (mostly carbohydrates)
1kg of firewood costs about 40 cents
1kg of cheap dry cat food costs about 1,20€
So, cat-based heating is about 3.3x more expensive than burning pre-dried, commercially purchased firewood.
(all of these prices heavily depend on how much you buy in bulk, though. And if you care about your cat's well-being, you're gonna spend 2x more on its food)
How would it affect the math if you sold cat videos as NFTs?
In a market economy, the value of a good increases with demand and decreases with supply.
On the Internet, there is an unlimited supply of cat videos, therefore their market value is 0.
c/theydidthemath?
But cat based heating has a lower efficiency, they do not turn all energy into heat.
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Does it really heal wounds and stabilize blood pressure? That seems a bit far-fetched.
according to Google, cat purrs are at a specific frequency that somehow helps you heal faster
One of it's purrrposes is to shake wounds and increase bloodflow. This is why cats sometimes pur after conflict; they're licking their wounds in multiple ways.
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Guinea pigs are kittens that never become cats
wheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheekwheek
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