this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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On Friday, New York Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch told media that authorities now believe the suspect accused of shooting and killing UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson is no longer in New York City, and promptly fled on a bus after the murder.

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[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 250 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Man what a responsible individual. E-bike rentals, mass transit, killing parasitic CEO's, this guy seems to be fairly eco-friendly.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 73 points 2 months ago (4 children)

He didn't compost the body though. 😔

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 60 points 2 months ago

He did the best he could with the constraints he had.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He can't do everything. We all must pitch in to help eat the elephant.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What would happen if we all went tinkle on his grave? Would that help composting?

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

Only one way to find out.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not really, I don't think urine is a very microbe friendly environment.

[–] Wiz@midwest.social 3 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's a misconception. Typical healthy urine has microbe flora, most of which are helpful.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6605016/

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Then why am I washing my hands after I go pee?

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Because you touched your wee wee

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 22 points 2 months ago

I think we can forgive such a minor transgression.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 90 points 2 months ago

I heard they're hiding out in a billionaire's house. The police better raid and thoroughly search all of those.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 87 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good. I hope he's since gotten on a plane and is chilling on a beach in a non-extradition country right now.

The Adjuster. True American Hero.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 70 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He's probably sailing so his carbon footprint stays low.

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Sailing would keep his emissions low but a sailboat has a giant footprint

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Unless he made the sailboat himself out of recycled materials!

[–] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Shipwrights hate this one neat trick!

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Compared to a jumbo jet?

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Maybe he should sail the boat on the water instead of wearing it on his feet like shoes

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 73 points 2 months ago (2 children)

That's not what I heard, pretty sure he's still in NYC.

Unless he is, in which case he definitely fled the country.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's mostly the police saying they spotted a man who fit the description enter a bus station and not be seen leaving it. He's probably going to a variety of US based places at the moment, but he should leave the county ASAP in case DNA points to the actual suspect and he gets put on a no fly list. P

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason, like a previous crime. Or I suppose if he's ever used one of those DNA ancestry things. I bet the police have access to that, whether they're supposed to or not.

And for a no fly list, they need to know who it is first. If they knew that, we'd probably know as well since they're clearly trying to cast the net as wide as possible.

[–] ShadowRam@fedia.io 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

DNA only helps if he's already in the system for some reason

Noooope....

He simply needs some family that contributed to 23andMe or similar, to narrow it down.

That's enough for a Judge to force them to hand over a DNA sample for comparison.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

People online always want to assume everyone has large families for some reason. Most people don't have a huge extended family. Only children with small extended families are pretty common.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

As far as I know, my sperm donor doesn't have a huge family. All it takes is your one sibling to take a genetics test to no longer be an anonymous sperm donor. Same applies here. It just takes one.

[–] jonne@infosec.pub 5 points 2 months ago

Pretty sure they have everyone's DNA by now, between all the ancestry databases and the like.

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

That assumes they were able to collect DNA from the scene. Which is a public street in the largest city in the country.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I heard he's hanging out the mole men in the sewers. The cops better check every pipe.

[–] Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world 69 points 2 months ago (1 children)

fled

Pretty sure he just kinda left. Probably could’ve been high-fiving people on the way out.

[–] teamevil@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Now I want to see The Adjuster, the musical, escape scene

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No idea why you linked "wiki news" instead of one of the articles it cited...

UnitedHealth Group said it was focused on supporting Thompson’s family, ensuring the safety of employees and assisting investigators. “While our hearts are broken, we have been touched by the huge outpouring,” the company said.

But that gave me a chuckle, there has definitely been a huge outpouring, and I liked how their comment omits what exactly people have been saying, just that they're saying stuff.

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I’m into the wikinews link for this subject, for some reason.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

If you meant because of the quote, it's from one of the articles...

The wikinees link was like two paragraphs with no info

[–] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 42 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Pretty sure I saw him in Nunavut. They should send the investigators there.

[–] sepi@piefed.social 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro he is in the Sahel right now

[–] Idontevenknowanymore@mander.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe they should comb the desert.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

All they found was Tuvix

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

He was definitely in Imperial Beach last night. Said something about Zihuatanejo. Might find him in Mexico at this point.

[–] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Lol more convinced than ever they're following some Canadian/Vermont kid on a bus trip back north, just because he stopped a night in a NY hostel and wore the wrong type of jacket on his morning coffee run.

[–] intresteph@discuss.online 11 points 2 months ago

Haha, yeah that’s probably it. We should all buy grey hoodies now just to throw them off

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Imagine the kid is doing just normal kid things and all the cops on the stakeout are like: "Sir, he's assembling the lego millenium Falcon... menacingly"

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how difficult it would be to simply blend in with the homeless for a few weeks. They're pretty much invisible.

[–] alphabethunter@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I imagine you could buy a bunch of similar Jackets and distribute them to the homeless in an area prior to doing anything, and just crash with them for some time after.

[–] grissino@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I always thought that this clip was too outrageous to be realistic...

I guess that I stand corrected!

(You can skip to 1:30)

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What is this wiki news, some kind of hacker website?