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Original post: hachyderm.io (Mastodon)
(I lowered the white levels of the original attached image to try to save people who put their screen brightness too high and/or room lighting too low from themselves - this is your hostile reminder to stop giving yourself eyestrain ๐)
"hope this email finds you dead"
I hope this email finds you before I do.
Hope this email finds you in a well.
"Hope you are doing poorly."
"As per my previous threat, ..."
"Have a horrible rest of your life."
"Worst regards."
"Worm regards" just to be chaotic
I feel that only works if your signature is Paul-Muad'Dib
Hostile reminder: pay your bill, you twat!
"Hey fuckface" is a fine way to start.
flirty reminder
"To whom it will concern"
@molly0xfff
Clever
Any message containing "a friendly" is not and never will be friendly. Just how "a polite" does not make it polite.
Or how adding "no offense" doesn't remove the deep offense you just bestowed onto the receiving party haha
Any phrase that begins with "With all due respect" is about to be delivered with an absolute lack of all respect
Au contraire. Anything that begins with "With all due respect" is delivered with all the respect the recipient is actually due.
I disagree with this absolute. I've sent people messages like "friendly reminder: you have soup on the stove." My intent is friendly: remind them that they have impending soup and remind them not to burn down the house. Specifying "friendly" was my attempt to soften the blow, as many of the people I have reminded are aware they're forgetful and become defensive, even if the reminder is needed.
I no longer use that approach because it's been so consistently received so poorly, but the reminders were friendly in terms of intent. I don't think I've yet discovered a way to convey this kind of friendly reminder without annoying the recipient, but I still try.
I agree that a "friendly reminder" from a corporation is very unlikely to be as it describes itself.
"Friendly reminder - stop sending me these fucking emails."
That's just Duolingo
I feel like putting that on the password reset emails that we send out at work. They never resent their passwords, ever.