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Panel 1 Man and woman in office clothes in a break room.
Man: So, if you were alone in a forest, would you rather run into a strange man… or a bear?
Panel 2 Woman: Oh, hmm… I think the bear.
Man (angry): How can you say that?
(Bear looking quizzically through the window)
Panel 3 Man (angry): You're demonizing men! It's misandry!
Panel 4 Woman: Good point. Why would I ever hear men's reactions?
Man: Exactly! …where did the honey go?
Panel 5 Woman and bear sharing tea
Woman: At least if you maul me, pepper won't say I made it up or I'm misinterpreting.
Bear: I hear you
My read is that women fear men as much as the fear bears. And that while a bear would maul her and eat her, she's still going to be blamed for being in a situation where that would happen.
Men get wrapped up in "I'm safer than a bear" without considering just how much victim blaming happens to wonen and how often they are ignored and attacked for things men do to them.
What needs to happen is men recognizing that there is a problem and working to resolve it. "It's all men until it's no men" is for women's safety, and isn't a direct reflection on individuals.
Except, of course, nobody's¹ doing that. Hell, I said the precise opposite:
This doesn't stop "men who might otherwise be allies" from reading it as a personal attack on "all men". Despite, as I just quoted here, me saying exactly the God-damned opposite.
Which leads me to believe they are not actually men who would otherwise be allies since they can't even muster up enough respect to read the words that are actually there choosing instead to beat the stuffing out of straw men.
¹ Before you trot out someone who did say that, do a quick count and a slight division to see if the proportion who you can find actually saying that are large enough to count as anything but a rounding error. Believe it or not, most of the women who would choose "bear" in the thought experiment have men in their lives.
When I said "nobody's doing that" (with the proviso that yes, surely, SOME people genuinely are that stupid) I meant it. I used myself as an example of someone saying the precise opposite and still having it interpreted as "MISANDRY!!!!!111oneoneoneeleventy!"
With #ManOrBear, you can spend ten thousand lines explaining that you do not believe all men are evil, slavering monsters who will assault women if given the chance to do it and then one line asking the thought experiment and you'll still get the "MISANDRY!!!!!111oneoneoneeleventy!" response. There is no way to communicate the very important message of that thought experiment without having a bunch of "men who might otherwise be allies" freaking out. (Which to my mind calls into question their value as potential allies.)
You're the one who brought racism and religion into this. If you're upset that women don't trust you, there are healthier comparisons to make. Also, you might be a part of the problem. Accept that you might need to reflect a little more carefully, and be willing to accept that your opinions might not be healthy.
Thank you for that point of view.
I think there will always be assholes etc. so it would always be all men. What needs to change is that we step in and tell others when they act like assholes, to at least stop it sometimes. But that takes courage. Are we training boys to be courageous? To not accept bad behavior of others, even when it is against a third party?