this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Uranus is such a stupid name. The proper name for the world is Caelus. All the other planets use the Roman names of the gods. But for some reason, we decided to go with the Greek name in the one case that would obviously cause problems. The only reason "Uranus" and "anus" sound similar is that they have different roots. "Anus" comes from the Latin, while Uranus is Greek. The ancient Greeks didn't have this problem, as they only had the word for the deity. The Romans didn't have this problem, as they named their god Caelus. But for some asinine reason, we insist on calling the Seventh Planet Uranus instead of its proper Caelus.
We should rename it. I don't care if scientists at the time of its discovery preferred Uranus. We're allowed to move to more sensible names. We shouldn't be stuck with this forever. In fact, Herschel, the original discoverer, wanted to name it George. Bode came up with the name Uranus, apparently unaware of the Latin/Greek mismatch.
It's high time we give the Seventh World in our star system the proper respect it is due. The seventh planet is Caelus, not this ridiculous Uranus. We can do better.
I solve this problem the other way by using the Greek names for the planets, Apollo, Aphrodite, Gaea, Ares, Zeus, Chronus, Uranus (of course), Poseidon and Hades.
I reject your foundational assertion that this is a problem.
Hhahahha I was about to post that
Caelus does sound like a cooler name, but I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to forget this name by tomorrow.
George it is!
"Planet George's Anus."
This was also my takeaway from this rant. Hi George!
Rant? Oh don't get me started on how we're dropping the ball on the naming of the supermassive black hole at the center of the galaxy. This is by far the largest object in the entire galaxy. The center of centers. The pit at the bottom of the world. The bottomless pit that pulled the whole galaxy together. The monster of monsters. The terror of terrors. The thunder upon the deep. The ravenous maw that devours entire Suns. And what name do we call it? What ancient monster or demon do we invoke to give voice to the howling terror around which the galaxy revolves? None. We call the bloody thing Sagittarius A*.
Yes, that's it. That's as good as astronomers can do right now apparently. How could you call such an unholy terror a name that's more appropriate to an IRS accounting file? How could you use such a mundane name when Charybdis is right there! Or Scylla works too!
Like JFC. Where's the sense of romance? Where's the passion and the fire? We're talking an object with the mass of three million Suns. It has a whole retinue or stars that orbit around it, and it throws them around like playthings. The Earth and the Sun already dwarf humanity to cosmic minutia, and this monster does the same to them. It's a monster lurking in the depths of space. And the best we can do to name it is fucking Sagittarius A*. The thing is a literal cosmic monster, something right out of mythology.
Like, I'm not even some Eurocentric who thinks everything needs to be named after Roman or Greek sources. I like keeping the planets specifically Roman for consistency. But there are no shortage of wonderful names out there coming from other mythologies. Laniakea is a beautiful name. And I would be fine with naming the big black hole after some terrifying monster in any number of mythologies. But we have to stop calling it A*. It's just wrong.
Nidhogg, the World-Devourer. Lost Carcosa. Hastur the Unspeakable.
10/10 rant. I admire your passion, the internent needs more of this sort of thing.
"How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless deeps of space! You have this thing you call... boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song — it went 'Twinkle twinkle little star....' What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds, and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!”
- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky
I so admire your passion! Could I borrow a bit? Feeling pretty down.
what a..cheeky.. use of ..asinine...
If you think all the scientists around the world giggling about all the puns are gonna destroy that ever bountiful source of joy, you got another one coming.
heh
caelus rhymes with sigh-lus
No. We need this right now.
Don't worry. Scientists will fix this once and for all in 2620.
Isn't it supposed to be pronounced "YOUR-uh-nuss"? I get that people will prefer the childish pronunciation, but the one I listed is preferred by scientists, so it's not an issue there.
Or "oo-ran-oose"
"urine-iss"
It’s pronounced you-RON-us. Also, which Roman god is Earth named after?
It's not. It's just named after dirt.
I know, that was my point. The comment I was replying to said “all the other planets are named after Roman gods”.
Ah. Yes, they meant all the other discovered planets are.
How is Earth not a discovered planet? Discovering it was one of the first things I did after being born.
Oh come on
Because it was "discovered" long before we even knew what a planet was.