this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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Whatever level of SA you've experienced it wasn't your fault, and we support you.

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[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago

That’s really interesting. I dress that way, but I wouldn’t call myself submissive or passive at all. It makes sense, though, in a way.

I’m the bitch who tells dudes to “shut the fuck up, she’s not here to give you a boner” when they tell a bartender to smile, or make some comment she obviously finds uncomfortable. Who straight up sings “Not interested!” without looking when being catcalled (one dude was like “I’m not trying to fuck you!” from across the parking lot, so like, lol right.. which got “I’m also not interested in a conversation!” In the same singsong sort of way.. he was so angry, and fumed at me about it until I got in my car. Glorious.)

So hey, maybe I’ll be good counter/hide for actually passive fem-presenting folks! And if not I’ll just go right ahead and keep standing up for them if they seem unable/unwilling.

However, on reflection, it really sucks that a gal can’t win. You wear something revealing, you take verbal abuse from men. You wear something not revealing, you look like prey to men. (Yes yes, not all men. But nearly always a man.)