For what it's worth, I was a line cook for 15+ years and I've only fucked with one person's food in a serious way.
I've put out half-assed food. I've giggled with the waitress while destroying some asshole's mouth with "smoking tonsils" hot sauce additive. He was a dick to my server and asked for wings as hot as possible. Malicious compliance.
I've spitefully skimped a pricks burrito on meat. I've hooked-up dope customers that treat all the staff like human-beings by making their food with extra care.
Only one person has ever driven me to hock a giant loogey in their food. They were an employee/driver/dealer/shitbag. And I'd do it again.
It's not difficult to not get fucked with, just treat the people that make and serve your food with basic human dignity. If you get shitty food or service, maybe think about how much the essential worker serving you is getting paid. Think about what you feel entitled to from an essential worker that will never be paid a median income. Have some empathy and class solidarity.
Fuck tipping culture, but tip your server well. If you can, let the kitchen know you care. Send some drinks or tips their way. Or positive feed back.
Problems happen. You are not a jerk for pointing out (politely) a fuck-up. Just keep in mind that, ultimately, it's the owners and management that are responsible for a bad restaurant. You have no power to change that except by "voting with your dollar". And that is kinda bullshit, too. Just remember that no matter how mean or shitty you treat a worker, it doesn't help anything except your inflated sense of entitlement.
Just please have some empathy.