this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] tourist@lemmy.world 203 points 5 days ago (3 children)

They didn't have any abbreviations ready for that sentence

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 76 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

"So, what code do we put in for the insurance company?"

[–] piefood@piefed.social 184 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)
[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Definitely awarded

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 11 points 5 days ago
[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 3 points 4 days ago

This explains everything in 5 characters.

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 30 points 5 days ago
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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago

FGT SPNR STK ON PNS

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 39 points 5 days ago

If the chief complaint is funny/fucked up enough, we won't abbreviate it

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 57 points 5 days ago (8 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 50 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't have a penis, but I for one was a total idiot at age 9.

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 17 points 5 days ago

Not having a penis: the perfect counter to the fidgit spinner trap

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 33 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Boys start playing with their weiners as soon as their hands can start grasping stuff. It's instinctual.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's instinctual in that all babies explore their genitals as soon as they can start willfully moving their hands, yes. It's not just boys having a special connection to their genitalia.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, but we make it our personality!

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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[–] UltraMasculine@sopuli.xyz 39 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm much older than 9 and stuff gets stuck on my penis all the time.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 14 points 5 days ago

Check out Mr. Popular over here with his social life.

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 31 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I dont think 15yo penises fit into fidget spinners, but Im not an expert on child genitalia.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 69 points 5 days ago

I'll ask my priest.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 18 points 5 days ago

It really depends on both the size of the fidget spinner and the will of the child.

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[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (6 children)

My wife texted me the other day:

You know that yellow slide our son carries around? Well, he started sticking his penis in it, you have to talk to him now.

He's 4. It's just what boys do.

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Yeah, children play with their genitals far more than I ever wanted to believe. I don't really remember doing it as a kid, but it wouldn't surprise me if most parents, including mine, have stories about the odd things that happen.

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[–] dumbass@leminal.space 5 points 5 days ago

You gotta start somewhere.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

I wonder how my life would have changed if i had access to the internet at age 9

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

I was jerking off around that age, hadn't ever seen any porn or anything, no need to call child protection, it was just natural for me

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago

The ultimate Helicopter Dick.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 31 points 5 days ago (2 children)

15 mins at the swimming pool is cheaper than ER

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[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago

he's literally me

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Right foot penis, abdomen penis, back penis, fidgit spinner.. still spinning!

[–] PapstJL4U@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

That's why you explain what the helicopter really is...

[–] KingBoo@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's a 9 year old and some spinners have a hole on each side.

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

Directions unclear

[–] ImmersiveMatthew@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Someone did not know that alcohol makes you soft.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Yeah. Lets get the 9yo drunk

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It builds character, dammit!

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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 8 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I've seen some different sizes of fidget spinners, but no way is anyone that small lol

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago

Like it didn't happen to everybody at some point.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)
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