this post was submitted on 13 Apr 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 50 comments
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[–] dechnically@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 days ago

he's literally me

[–] KingBoo@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's a 9 year old and some spinners have a hole on each side.

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 203 points 1 week ago (3 children)

They didn't have any abbreviations ready for that sentence

[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 76 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

"So, what code do we put in for the insurance company?"

[–] piefood@piefed.social 185 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 3 points 6 days ago

This explains everything in 5 characters.

[–] Slovene@feddit.nl 1 points 6 days ago
[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] HoneyMustardGas@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Definitely awarded

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 11 points 1 week ago
[–] Gork@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago
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[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 39 points 1 week ago

If the chief complaint is funny/fucked up enough, we won't abbreviate it

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

FGT SPNR STK ON PNS

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (8 children)
[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

I was jerking off around that age, hadn't ever seen any porn or anything, no need to call child protection, it was just natural for me

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I wonder how my life would have changed if i had access to the internet at age 9

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't have a penis, but I for one was a total idiot at age 9.

[–] absentbird@lemm.ee 17 points 1 week ago

Not having a penis: the perfect counter to the fidgit spinner trap

[–] UltraMasculine@sopuli.xyz 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm much older than 9 and stuff gets stuck on my penis all the time.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 week ago

Check out Mr. Popular over here with his social life.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Boys start playing with their weiners as soon as their hands can start grasping stuff. It's instinctual.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's instinctual in that all babies explore their genitals as soon as they can start willfully moving their hands, yes. It's not just boys having a special connection to their genitalia.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yeah, but we make it our personality!

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[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I dont think 15yo penises fit into fidget spinners, but Im not an expert on child genitalia.

[–] dutchkimble@lemy.lol 2 points 6 days ago

You misunderstand. It’s a 9yo fidget spinner.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago

I'll ask my priest.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 week ago

It really depends on both the size of the fidget spinner and the will of the child.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

My wife texted me the other day:

You know that yellow slide our son carries around? Well, he started sticking his penis in it, you have to talk to him now.

He's 4. It's just what boys do.

[–] GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, children play with their genitals far more than I ever wanted to believe. I don't really remember doing it as a kid, but it wouldn't surprise me if most parents, including mine, have stories about the odd things that happen.

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

15 mins at the swimming pool is cheaper than ER

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He might need to have his penis drained to get it out.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 1 points 4 days ago

Usually I get mine out before I drain it.

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

The ultimate Helicopter Dick.

[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Right foot penis, abdomen penis, back penis, fidgit spinner.. still spinning!

[–] PapstJL4U@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

That's why you explain what the helicopter really is...

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Directions unclear

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've seen some different sizes of fidget spinners, but no way is anyone that small lol

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 24 points 1 week ago (6 children)
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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Like it didn't happen to everybody at some point.

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