this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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[–] cynar@lemmy.world 311 points 6 days ago (8 children)

As a parent, if my kid did that, I'd likely side with the neighbour. I would put it (very loosely) in the category of "natural consequence" punishments.

It fits the crime, it discourages the crime, it forces empathy with the cat, and it does no real harm.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 109 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is my favorite answer. I'd argue that he got less than the natural consequences of his actions. In nature, when one assaults another, even with something as harmless as water, it's usually reasonable to interpret it as a threat, the response to which is usually violence. That kid is lucky he didn't get a face full of claws. I've gotten a lot worse from gently touching cats that, as it turned out, didn't want to be touched. Boundaries are important.

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 60 points 6 days ago (4 children)

Natural consequences doesn't mean "law of the jungle" here. It just means linking cause and effect in a proportionate manner.

I tend to use a lot of "natural consequence parenting". Basically, the response should flow from the cause. If you throw water over your friend, you can't then complain if they throw water over you. You learn that, while it's fun when expected, it can be deeply unpleasant when unexpected.

It's a lot more effective than random generic punishments. The trick is shielding them from excessive results, while allowing proportional ones to play out. E.g. swinging on a chair will get a warning, but often not stopped. When they fall, there's an "I told you so" before/with the cuddle. If there is a risk of a more serious injury however, e.g. the corner of a table where their head may hit, then I step in and stop things.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don't have kids but this is pretty much how my dad raised me. It made me really respect when he gave me a hard no for something, it meant "no really the risk majorly outweighs the reward" and even if I didn't understand it at the time I trusted it. I got a lot of I told you so after varying seriousness of injuries lol. Eventually I learned that the soft warning meant I was going to have a lot of fun but I needed to be ready for if it went sideways. Now I've got a pretty healthy sense of my own limits and when to start gauging risk/reward

[–] cynar@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago

That's basically the goal I'm aiming for. It's also worth remembering to always give an (age appropriate) explanation with the "no". If you're using a hard no, then there is something they don't yet understand. Explaining it lets them integrate that knowledge into their future risk management.

The only downside is their confidence is high enough to terrify me! The job of containing and shaping that confidence, without damaging it gives me plenty of grey hairs.

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[–] The_Caretaker@lemm.ee 70 points 6 days ago

"If your mother doesn't teach you manners, the world will." My friend from Kenya told me it's an old proverb where he's from.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 111 points 6 days ago

My neighbors daughter had one of those water guns. I told her if she shoots at me, I'll get the hose and retaliate. She grinned, shot at me, and ran away laughing.

I talked to her dad, he nodded, and when she came back for more mischief, she got wet.

[–] teslasaur@lemmy.world 109 points 6 days ago (19 children)

My head hurts from reading that. Comma and periods, people. Comma and periods.

[–] tauren@lemm.ee 27 points 6 days ago (6 children)

This is what big comma and periods want you to believe. Don't be a fool!

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[–] KiloGex@lemmy.world 38 points 6 days ago (2 children)

If my kid did that, I'd let you splash them again.

[–] WanakaTree@lemm.ee 12 points 5 days ago

Seriously my first thought if I saw this all occurring and my kid came complaining to me about it is I'd just say "well this is how the cat feels"

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

Truly cannot conceive of any other appropriate response. My kid's an asshole sometimes, better he get gentle lessons now.

[–] UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world 49 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If it was funny to do it to the Cat.... It was hilarious doing it to the kid.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Can confirm.

I have a robot that clears snow on my driveway (it’s a diy build,). One winter, we were having problems with a couple teenage boys chucking snowballs at cars.

Their dads conspired to teach them a lesson.

They recruited me and S5-SY (the robot, pronounced “Sassy”,).

So they played some mind games to get the kids to think it was their idea to record themselves-live- chucking snowballs at the “defenseless” robot.

In the video, the robot turned to face them, drove itself into the snow bank and turned on its sweeper to give them the worst white wash of their lives.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, you can't just say "I built a robot that clears snow", like it's no big deal! Do you have more details? Also, please link the video of it blizzarding the teens!

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[–] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 33 points 6 days ago (7 children)

If my neighbor did ANYTHING to my pets, they'd be lucky to only get sprayed with water.

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[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 39 points 6 days ago (28 children)

Like, I agree with the tit for tat. But don't let your cat outside.

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[–] happytimeharry@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I’ll take things that never happened for 200$

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 15 points 6 days ago

Yes, no 10 year-old ever threw water at a cat.

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[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 34 points 6 days ago (18 children)

i think i still remember where i was the first time i saw this posted

[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 36 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Lucky for me I'm one of today's 10,000 and have not seen this before.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 28 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (13 children)

Everyone here balancing the ethics of getting wet like it's assault.

Water melts snowflakes and wicked witches, everyone else need not worry.

All living things should be used to being wet either all the time or somewhat regularly. To think beyond that, wow, society has its teeth in you and you are lost.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 23 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It is assault, though.

Kid acted maliciously towards the cat. It's not like the kid accidentally knocked a bottle of water and some of it splashed the cat. No. There was a conscious decision to torment the cat by deliberately throwing water over it.

Punishment fits the crime here.

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[–] robador51@lemmy.ml 18 points 6 days ago (13 children)

We've a lot of cats coming through the garden. I wouldn't mind if not for my dog, who does and goes insane when she spots a cat. So I've been thinking about getting a super soaker to chase them away. I think that's pretty harmless, and perhaps they learn to skip our garden after a while... What do you lot think?

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[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (13 children)

That the risk you take with an outdoor cat. It's not even like water is harmful to it.

I used to have an outdoor cat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.

[–] Jyek@sh.itjust.works 76 points 6 days ago (6 children)

That's the risk you take with an outdoor brat. It's not even like water is harmful to it.

I used to have an outdoor brat and if that happened I would have shrugged it off and expected him not to go there again.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago

Both takes are 100% correct

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[–] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 27 points 6 days ago

"Nobody got hurt, just LET ASSHOLE BE ASSHOLES! MUH FREEDUMS!"

Nah, I'm a firm believer in 'Fuck around and Find out'

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