5,6,9

2, 6, 9

I'd pick 9, 9, 9

That is by far the shittiest version of the "which pill/superpower/xyz ?" that I've seen.

"No more fat", "Have many followers" and fucking "Increase 5cm height" nearly gave me an aneurysm. This meme is a good pick for the community.

If you choose 6, your life will be like that of Sam the Slug.

1 & 2 are the same pill, unless 2 also stops you from putting on muscle mass which would be a real negative. In the same vein, "no more fat" taken too literally will just kill you, as humans need at least 4-5% body fat to live.

If you read them kindly "dont gain weight from eating" means you will burn fat just day to day, eventually hitting equilibrium. "No more fat" means you won't gain fat, so you can just eat excessively and youre at equilibrium. Neither affects you at a calorie deficit, and both do the same thing at a calorie surplus.

I think 5 and 9.

i don't really want the rest.

1. feels like a trap, once you burn through all your fat you'll be impossibly unhealthy

2. is a trap too, if you stop gaining weight from eating then you might trap yourself in the same situation as above

3. unless you hunt for food, bad idea

4. decent option, but it doesn't mention if there's any pain during the growth period

5. good option, as long as you have control over your strength

6. very bad option, sounds nice but you will go insane

7. doesn't say if online or IRL, having many followers IRL is not desirable

8. dangerous, erasing any meaningful memories is dangerous

9. the only good option with no consequences i can think of. i'll take 3 of those

That calls for a monkey's paw

1. There's literally no more fat in your body. Your cells burst, you die immediately.
2. You're not able to gain weight, but you still lose it. Every time you sweat, breathe out, go to the restroom - you lose weight. In a matter of month or two, you die from exhaustion.
3. Now you can't buy groceries and really anything you want or need and are forever reliant on others to provide you with anything you didn't yourself produce.
4. The height increase is achieved by all your organs instantly extending, causing internal injuries and disabilities and now many physical stresses can kill you.
5. You're so strong you cannot adequately measure it, and have to be very careful not to break everything around you.
6. You're always happy. You're never able to grieve, or reflect, or do anything. You've lost any reason to progress, or even really sustain yourself. You die in bliss on the streets.
7. Followers are invading all of your personal life. They doxx you, follow you everywhere, try to document every moment of your existence. You cannot have peace and solitude ever again.
8. You forgot your ex. You also forgot every good moment in your life you ever had together, and are left wondering what is that void in your brain. You will never know what happened. But someone, somewhere out there who is your ex will.
9. Inflation came strong, and now everyone has millions upon millions of dollars. Too bad they're only worth a few rolls of toilet paper.

Number six when something bad happens:

1 is the monkey's paw answer and a trap. Fat is necessary for survival. Fats literally make up the outside of every cell in your body.

2 is still dangerous, because it might just be tapeworm eggs.

Is 3 just a servant who shops for you? Or is it just that you are no longer addicted to compulsive shopping?

4 Will cause you the most agonizing pain of your life as virtually every bone and muscle gets ripped apart and re-knit, and as someone who's 6'4, it has its upsides, but having literally everything made for people shorter than you REALLY sucks, from doorways and light fixtures, even to rollercoasters which nearly remove your legs because of awful design (or just won't close over your shoulders)

5 is nice. Go with 5. It'll be painful, but potentially worth it in a pinch, as long as it also grants you control of that strength.

6 is another trap, since small amounts of stress are actually really important, and in order to be constantly happy, your brain would lose the ability to feel it unless it continually increased the dopamine drip. Eventually, you would kill for the ability to stop.

7 I mean, sure, if that's what you want. Would be nice to know what kind of followers? Are they going to be religious and try to pull a Life of Brian on you?

8 is the worst, because you have no control over the extent of the memory wipe. This is existentially terrifying

9 is the safest, but then you go and read that post about why winning the lottery means you're fucked.

The surefire safest calls are probably 9, 7, and 3, since they wouldn't actually affect your body, unless you're the kind of person who likes playing roulette with the sort of pills you get for free on the street.

I am underweight so 2 would probably kill me. 4 would make my gender dysphoria worse. 7 would be a nightmare since i have social anxiety

Why is there no estrogen pill?

5,6,9 easy.

Some are void if you are always happy.

2, 6, 9

Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:

1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.

2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.

3 you’re banned from every store on earth.

4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.

5 but only in your dreams.

6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.

7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.

8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.

9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.

2, 5, 9.

Everyone's going to pick 9, right?

Stop shopping??? Dafuq

I think some of these need clarification 😅

999

5, 6 & 9

5, 6, 9. I would take 5 as "emotional/mentally"

4, 5, 9

Only need 6.

9 thrice