Ask Lemmy

I'm a tall lady (for my area, though shortest of my siblings), about the average height of guys here, and yeah. Some guys have sounded very accusatory actually - as though I grew tall on purpose to make them feel short. Oddly enough, none of those were literally short guys.

No big deal, I like my height, shorter is not something I've ever wished to be. All 3 of my long term relationships have been with guys about my same height.

I thought this thread was talking about applying for jobs and was so confused

No, but I was rejected because I couldn't drive.

I'm 5'6. Yeah. So much. I was rejected like crazy for my height in my teens and early twenties, but I lived in a particularly shitty part of the United States, so I'm not surprised in retrospect. I also dated a ton, so there was a lot of opportunity for rejection. I even remember a woman I was not interested in and had shown absolutely no interest in going out of her way to tell me she would date me if I wasn't so short.

I relocated to a much more progressive part of the country and it hasn't come up once in nearly a decade.

Edit: I should mention it was only an issue with women, I never heard anything about it from men.

I'm guessing you're a man ?

I'm 5'4 male and average looking and a bit chubby

Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit

The bar is set REALLY low

Really Really low

Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship

Lol ok I feel dumb after looking at the comments. I thought you meant like... On rollercoaster rides or something.

Is that a problem I'm too tall to understand?

Regularly throughout my life. I'm also 5'7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I'm older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they're partners are so terrible.

So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You'll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

My ex did tell me I'm shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we're happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.

ive never Been rejected, (i dont ASK people out)

I (woman, 5'10") was dumped for being too tall.

Rowing club coach at a university I was interested in told me I was too short to bother trying out but if I dropped all muscle to squeak under 120 lbs I could try for coxswain.

Jokes on them, rowing generally requires waking up before the ass crack of dawn which was not conducive to my preferred college experience. I found rugby, which has way broader allowance for body type and no sunrise torture sessions.

I am 5'4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It's too bad, I'd date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.

Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I've done okay, but it'd be foolish to say it's not a huge hurdle in dating.

No. I have doubts that it actually happens except in extremely rare instances. I wonder if some women blame a lack of attraction on height because saying other things gets an ever worse reaction?

Not to my face. But as someone else said, it's rare for you to be told the rejection reason (for early dating). There are a lot of reasons for this, but part of it is people kind of suck at taking rejection. And on top of that, a significant portion of men are dangerous.

No one wants to risk the man flipping out, spewing cruelty, or worse. A gentler letdown seems safer.

I lucked out into being born 5'10, not tall enough to need special clothes, but short enough so the shallow "6ft or nothing" women self filter themselves and I don't have to deal with them myself. I had a buddy who was 5'4ish who was an absolute disgusting human being but always blamed being alone on his height, also have a buddy who 5'2ish and married to an absolutely wonderful woman

I'm 5ft11 and I think I just get rejected for being myself rather than my height 🤷🏼‍♂️

I can't ride the go karts at the nearby go kart track because I am too tall 😔

Yes. Rejected to ride on the adult-sized go karts. Has to ride the kiddie bumper cars instead. But this was when I was younger.

I'm 5'8, plenty of men aren't interested in women as tall as they are.

About 10% of women will have a very strict type and reject you outright. If you were 2m tall this would maybe shrink to 9%, so it's irrelevant.

90% will think maybe you're a bit short but will overlook your height if you're above average in some other area of personality or looks.

My favorite height in a woman is the height of the woman who is interested in me.

Yes. I am 1,70 and got rejected for being too small. Well. It happens.

Reading the thread. Most of you guys are not THAT short lol. I actually married my guy who is 5'1". He has a nice smile, funny and smart.

He has told me unfortunately that he has often been declined often by women due to his height. We have asked our mutual friends who said they won't date someone who is that short which is unfortunate because they all love him too.

He's pretty confident, professional, so people from work finally meet him in person, they are surprised he is not taller.