1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
I'm guessing you're a man ?
I'm 5'4 male and average looking and a bit chubby
Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit
The bar is set REALLY low
Really Really low
Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship
This absolutely. I'm a 5'1" lady, and I do like my partner to be taller than me, but basically everyone is taller than me.
If you lined up every man I've dated over my lifetime, you'd see men from 5'2" to 6'4".
The right people are there for the person, not shallow bullshit. Hygiene is the best indicator, yes. Good hygiene, nice person, you'll find success.
When my now husband told me he was 6'3" my jaw dropped. Sure I was happy (he can reach the top shelf for me) but I seriously wouldn't have batted an eye if he was shorter
Date kind people, not shallow cunts and you should be okay.
I dated one guy who told me he was 5'10". He was kind of a cunt. He was actually 5'7". It just showcased his insecurity. I didn't like that. Wear yourself with pride. No one choses to be short/tall. Accept yourself and others will too.
The bar is set REALLY low
There's a saying "the bar for men is in hell"
I thought it meant there was a drinking establishment for men in hell. They go and drink with the devil, and that's where they get all their bad ideas. They're doing shots and the devil's like "say she's fat", and the guy is like "good advice bro".
Turns out the saying just means the bar is super low. So low you don't even have to jump. It's so low, it's deeper than the depths of the earth and in the fires of hell that burn below.
But yeah, so many men are so horrible, it's shockingly easy to rise above them.
How old are you, im curious if its a generational thing, like mid 20s women will straight up openly say theyd never date a man under a certain height openly in public lol
I'm ~40, so I don't date or spend much time with people in their 20s.
I have seen the occasional profile demanding a certain height, but I just skip on it immediately.
I wonder if it correlates with other attributes? I'm also very left wing so I don't interact with conservatives much, for example. Maybe "I need a tall man and I'll say it out loud" happens more there?
People do get rejected for their height lol, ppl are shallow, all woman aren't saints, what you should be saying is you should avoid anyone that cares about height, theyll remove themselves and its a non issue, ive had girls attracted to me calling me 6 foot be less atteacted to me visibly when I corrected them and said im actually 5 10 no logic in it lol
Lol ok I feel dumb after looking at the comments. I thought you meant like... On rollercoaster rides or something.
I'm 5ft11 and I think I just get rejected for being myself rather than my height 🤷🏼♂️
Same, 5ft11 as well, I think we're both too tall and too short for people.
My favorite height in a woman is the height of the woman who is interested in me.
Is that a problem I'm too tall to understand?
Being 205cm (6'9"), yeah what kinda problem is that? Now let me go tend to the bump on my head from running into a doorframe again
I'm a tall lady (for my area, though shortest of my siblings), about the average height of guys here, and yeah. Some guys have sounded very accusatory actually - as though I grew tall on purpose to make them feel short. Oddly enough, none of those were literally short guys.
No big deal, I like my height, shorter is not something I've ever wished to be. All 3 of my long term relationships have been with guys about my same height.
I'd consider myself to not care about if my partner was higher than me.
But if I am really honest with me, I do think it would hurt my pride if my partner was taller.
I am totally fine if equal or whatever else size.
But I believe if the personality is near total hit and fits mine, I could totally see past that.
I tell people I'm 4'23" and that sorts them out.
I can't ride the go karts at the nearby go kart track because I am too tall 😔
I (woman, 5'10") was dumped for being too tall.
My ex did tell me I'm shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.
I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we're happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.
Regularly throughout my life. I'm also 5'7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I'm older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they're partners are so terrible.
So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You'll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.
Weird; I mean, I know it's anicdotal but I'm 5'6" and I've never had anyone so much as even mention my height (maybe when around other men when I was younger once or twice but the bulk of my friends have always been more women such that I don't truly remember).
I guess it doesn't really contribute to the thread but I was just genuinely surprised at such a difference of experience.
But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they're partners are so terrible.
True as Hell, though.
I thought this thread was talking about applying for jobs and was so confused
Sorry, but you are to tall for this rollercoaster :/
I lucked out into being born 5'10, not tall enough to need special clothes, but short enough so the shallow "6ft or nothing" women self filter themselves and I don't have to deal with them myself. I had a buddy who was 5'4ish who was an absolute disgusting human being but always blamed being alone on his height, also have a buddy who 5'2ish and married to an absolutely wonderful woman
I lucked out into being born 5'10,
RIP mom
ive never Been rejected, (i dont ASK people out)
No, but I was rejected because I couldn't drive.
I'm too tall for that. But on a lot of dates i go, the woman tells me that she's glad i'm tall and then tell me a story how they went on a date with a short guy and how awkward that was.
Rowing club coach at a university I was interested in told me I was too short to bother trying out but if I dropped all muscle to squeak under 120 lbs I could try for coxswain.
Jokes on them, rowing generally requires waking up before the ass crack of dawn which was not conducive to my preferred college experience. I found rugby, which has way broader allowance for body type and no sunrise torture sessions.
I am 5'4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It's too bad, I'd date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.
Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I've done okay, but it'd be foolish to say it's not a huge hurdle in dating.
No. I have doubts that it actually happens except in extremely rare instances. I wonder if some women blame a lack of attraction on height because saying other things gets an ever worse reaction?
I'm a tiny bit shorter than 5'7" and yes, rejected multiple times because of it, but they don't always tell you why, so some of it is speculation. I've dated taller women a few times as well, so it's not that bad. My wife now is a lot shorter though, but I don't think height played much a role for us. If I were much taller we may even be incompatible.
I'm 6'2" and I dated a woman taller than me. That was very odd not having to look down or crouch to hug. lol
I dated one woman who was so much shorter compared to me our favorite time to kiss was on the stairs.
Not to my face. But as someone else said, it's rare for you to be told the rejection reason (for early dating). There are a lot of reasons for this, but part of it is people kind of suck at taking rejection. And on top of that, a significant portion of men are dangerous.
No one wants to risk the man flipping out, spewing cruelty, or worse. A gentler letdown seems safer.
Reading the thread. Most of you guys are not THAT short lol. I actually married my guy who is 5'1". He has a nice smile, funny and smart.
He has told me unfortunately that he has often been declined often by women due to his height. We have asked our mutual friends who said they won't date someone who is that short which is unfortunate because they all love him too.
He's pretty confident, professional, so people from work finally meet him in person, they are surprised he is not taller.
No. I got married before online dating existed
I'm 5'8, plenty of men aren't interested in women as tall as they are.
I'm 5'6. Yeah. So much. I was rejected like crazy for my height in my teens and early twenties, but I lived in a particularly shitty part of the United States, so I'm not surprised in retrospect. I also dated a ton, so there was a lot of opportunity for rejection. I even remember a woman I was not interested in and had shown absolutely no interest in going out of her way to tell me she would date me if I wasn't so short.
I relocated to a much more progressive part of the country and it hasn't come up once in nearly a decade.
Edit: I should mention it was only an issue with women, I never heard anything about it from men.
