Ask Lemmy

Used to be that because I was an expert on Apple platforms, that must mean I can fix a Windows computer. I hadn't the first clue where anything was. I've since learned, however. Because of work. Oh well.

It's frugal.

... It's not. Yarn is expensive as hell, even more so if you want any type of durability or wearability or comfort.

I work in IT (Sysadmin). "Oh, you fix computers? Can you look at my laptop?"

• QA tests software.
• QA reports issue with software.
• Developers review issue report.
• "Will Not Fix", "Works As Designed", "Cannot Reproduce", "Works on my machine"

End Users: "This software is buggy, their QA must suck!"

"oh wow your photography is so nice what camera do you use?"

._. photography is 80% skill and 20% gear and yet, i never get asked "what technique did you use?", it's always about the camera i use, as if this entry level DSLR is framing and shooting on its own

People always assume I want to turn my hobby into a job. I love to bake - it helps me de-stress from my job. If I made it my job, I wouldn't have something to help me de-stress anymore. I make enough money; I don't need to extract the joy from everything in my life for the sake of making more money.

I do not actually have keys to anything, nor am I allowed to wear headphones.

(Janitor)

That I spend all day coding, I spend most my day reading. Code usually but still

I'm a web developer. People assume the following:

1. I'm an expert with operating systems.
2. I'm good with math.
3. I eat junk food and drink energy drinks/soda.
4. I'm a proponent and consumer of all new technologies.
5. I like (insert) TV, Movie, or Anime.

That I can make the band suck less. Sure, there’s something to be said about polishing a shit... But ultimately, it’s shit in>shit out. Your guitar doesn’t sound like ass because of the EQ; it sounds like ass because the guitarist had nine beers before he even walked on stage, and he can’t stay on beat to save his goddamned life.

Psychoacoustics is a fascinating subject. Just like placebo, people will fool themselves into thinking that something sounds good or bad, simply because they want it to. I always keep a DFA fader on my console, for when random people walk up and have suggestions. I make an adjustment to the DFA fader, they smile and nod to themselves, and then walk away. DFA means “Does Fuck All”. It’s literally a fader that isn’t doing anything at all. It’s not in the mix, it’s not in the monitors. It’s just a spare fader. But by adjusting the DFA, audience members will feel like I took them seriously, and they’ll placebo themselves into thinking that I took their advice.

To be clear, not all audience advice is bad advice. But for every “it’s too loud” complaint, you’ll inevitably get an equal and opposite “it’s too quiet”. There’s a reason music festivals have their audio console fenced off with a very wide perimeter. It’s specifically so drunken audience members can’t just saunter up and start yelling suggestions. That shit is distracting and 99% of the time is entirely unproductive.

People are always amazed at how physically active embroidery is at an industrial scale. Everybody thinks it's just sitting around with an oldschool hoop, but I'm up and down the length of an 8ft machine all day, embroidering the same design on 6 garments at once.

I think the most I ever did was 300 garments in an 8 hour workday, but I put 17k steps on my fitbit and was dead tired afterwards.

Edit:oh heck it was more steps than that

As a teacher: I don't get summers off.

As a waitress: Carrying food or drinks to the table is the least significant part of the job.

That management and leadership are smart, visionary, people without whom everything would fall apart.

It doesn't matter what my line of work is. Management is mostly out of touch idiots everywhere.

"We need to redesign the web page to be more modern! Get me a big hero image and an image carousel!"

"Customers are complaining about how they can't save their search settings. Maybe we should do something about that?"

"No that's not a priority"

People praise me up for "saving the bees". Honey bees don't need saving. It's the other bees that do, the hundreds of species of bumblebees, mining bees, solitary bees etc etc. Bees that are outcompeted in some areas due to the number of hobbyist beekeepers and commercial bee farms. I'm one of the baddies.

Therapists are not "always analysing" you.

Seriously, you gotta pay me before I'll spend the energy to do that