this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2025
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[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

I'd go outside and eat the deer that ate my tomatoes. I'd be doing the universe a favor. Nothing behind those eyes but hunger and hatred for all life. Eat my tomatoes I eat you. Tomato-eating bastards agh fuck you.

[–] krunklom@lemmy.zip 3 points 13 hours ago

I'd find terrible, horrible people, and just like, tiger my way into their house and fuck shit up, like, take a dump on their bed, smash their tv, etc. and then I'd go invisible, wait for the police to show up, do their thing, and start the process over again until they lost their minds.

I would also rob banks though to keep it balanced.

[–] Mutterwitz@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 15 hours ago

We won't see.

[–] RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works 1 points 12 hours ago

Find dog owners to don't pick up and leave a large load on their lawn.

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 16 hours ago

I would chill tf out

[–] Xaphanos@lemmy.world 45 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Visit the white house. Then the congress.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Immediate thought was, “I can think of one guy I’d definitely maul.”

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Same. And then retire to the woods.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 4 points 17 hours ago

I would imagine a few more places that I would pay a visit to...

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[–] everett@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'd probably transform into an invisible tiger.

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Then take a nap in the sun

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago (7 children)

If light passes through you would the sun still warm you?

[–] Klear@quokk.au 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Depends if you're science-invisible (in which case you might be blind) or magic-invisible. Bilbo was still casting a shadow with the One Ring on, so he could sit in the sun while invisible, if he wasn't engulfed in a fucked-up shadow world while doing it. That probably messes things up a bit.

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You'd still get warm via conduction from the heated surface below you, but that's a neat thought

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Very good point, choosing an appropriate surface would become very important.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Maybe only visible light passes through you, so you're good.

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[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 1 points 21 hours ago

Man I'm old

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[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

This really is the best answer.

[–] Olkiss@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago

I would be in the jungle and enjoying life as a tiger.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 34 points 1 day ago (2 children)

2 chicks at the same time.

[–] showmeyourkizinti@startrek.website 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Not all women are in to a guy just because he can turn in an invisible tiger.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 hours ago

Willing to bet at least two are though and that's all it takes

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

...fuckin A.

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 16 hours ago

I will go summit the Everest.

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 7 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Pounce on Calvin every single time.

[–] GlenRambo@jlai.lu 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 6 points 1 day ago

Also probably do that stretchy leg thing and forget to put it down shortly afterwards.

[–] SethranKada@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What an odd question. I would, of course, become feral immediately and find a forest to live the rest of my days in.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Omg you'd be so Apex.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 20 hours ago

thats oddly specific.

[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

As an invisible tiger, you ARE the PPE.

[–] HuntressHimbo@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Is the tiger always invisible or just when you want it to be? I'm thinking pranking a friend in the shower, but I think it would be more fun with a visual component

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, it would fucking suck. Being invisible means light passes through the retinas and would not be absorbed by photoreceptor cells, making me completely blind. I guess I would try to go somewhere quiet so I could listen out. Being blind would be a death sentence in the wild. My only hope is to get picked up by a zoo or rehab center that actually cares for the animals.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 17 hours ago

No, its magic not scientific. You can see, but you can't be seen.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 day ago

Bump into someone every once in a while, watch as confusion spreads.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would fight crime and injustice

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Eat some faces and never be caught because I'm invisible.

[–] FaceDeer@fedia.io 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I misread that as "eat some feces" at first, but either way I guess you do you.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 1 points 15 hours ago

He means "pretend to be a leopard."

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago

Take a nap then start working to fuck off and vanish from the rest of the world before i get found and buried in a lab somewhere.

Eat Jeff Bezos

[–] memfree@piefed.social 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Worry that being invisible did not make me invincible. Getting hit by a car or bullets or such would still kill me. I'd still make noise stepping on twigs and have a wake trying to swim a stream, so I'd have to keep being stealthy. Presumably, I'd still smell like a tiger and send prey fleeing. If I did catch prey, their blood would be visible on my claw and teeth, wouldn't it? Would the chunks of flesh I eat stay visible as I gulp them down or would my invisibility mask them once they were inside me? If someone shot me as I mangled their their livestock, would my bleeding wound leave a blood spoor for hunters to follow?

All and all, I would try my best to be a silent hunter in unpopulated areas. Trying to move through city sidewalks would surely lead to my capture.

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