this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2025
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[–] DaniNatrix@leminal.space 2 points 15 hours ago

I'm bi because I have all the symptoms, finger guns, awkward puns, can't sit in chairs properly, require at least three beverages at any given moment etc.

Also, the flag has all my favorite colors.

Also, I could just be old? Lol

To be honest, a person's gender and/or genitalia are easily the least interesting things about them to me. I tend to feel sexual attraction only after establishing connections with people, which I believe has another name, demisexual. However, throughout my life I have dated men, women, nonbinary folks, folks who had no idea how to define themselves, etc.

My current partner is a man, but if he came to me today and told me he was trans and wanted to start living as a woman, I wouldn't bat an eyelash. If he wanted to get fake tits but keep his dick, also don't care. I love him, and "he" is so much more than his body. It makes perfect sense in my head and that's all that really matters I guess.

I've had friends argue with me that "you're actually pan!" but the word doesn't personally resonate with me. Anyway, I find most of the discourse around labels slightly reactionary and/or virtue signally, "I'm a true queer/queerer than you!", type shit. Pick your favorite color flag and go have (consensual) fun!

[–] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Basic answer: Bi likes two and maybe more, where Pan explicitly likes any, which you use just show's your starting point.

Real answer: Those who resonate with using Bi as a label likely started or wants to start on a common level of understanding of LGBT, whereas people who resonate with Pan start deep into LGBT discourse.

True answer: It's which flag you like better.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 9 points 22 hours ago

True answer: It's which flag you like better

My bi ass feels called out by this, so I'm going to say that makes you based

[–] Kage520@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I spent a while trying to find a simple answer to this. I think it's most easily interpreted as:

Bi: Implies you like both of the genders. No real preference.

Pan: implies you recognize there is a range of masculinity and femininity, and of course cis and trans, and thus you are attracted to a range of genders. Not explicitly feminine or masculine, but likes anyone on the spectrum of genders.

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

bisexuality isn't inherently transphobic!

not saying you're necessarily implying that, but it's a general stereotype which, while it can be true on an individual level, certainly isn't when taken as a whole

here's the bisexual manifesto, also, since it goes hard: https://bitheway.carrd.co/#manifesto

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[–] Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 1 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I think the main problem here is that even people within the community confuse "sex" with "gender".

Sex is a biological concept. According to biology, mammals have two sexes. Period.

Gender is a social/cultural/psychological concept. There's a whole spectrum of genders.

Wouldn't that mean that "bisexual" is someone attracted to the physical/biological attributes of of both sexes, while "pansexual" is someone attracted to the range of social/cultural/psychological attributes on the gender spectrum?

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 7 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

I think you're missing nuance with 'mammals have two sexes. Period' - there's a range of intersex possibilities, chromosomes that don't match organs, chromosomes that aren't xx or xy (e.g xxy), genetic chimeras with more than one set of sex chromosomes. What you mean is 'usually'

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One is sexually attracted to bicycles and the other one is in to cookware. I can't remember which is which.

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Bisexuals are attracted to cookware (think "biscuits"), and pansexuals are attracted to bicycles (think "panniers").

[–] deltapi@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Is that why the gay girl in my circle of friends keeps announcing that she got a new toaster oven?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

No, she's just trying to flirt with one of you.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Bisexuals know what pan means.

I have no interest in participating in freaky alien sex as their 43rd gender partner.

LOOK AT YOURSELF, PANS, THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE SKIN

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Bisexuals know what pan means.

(It means bread)

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Nervously defends my cookware cabinets.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Easy: bisexual people are REALLY into cycling and pansexual people can't contain their lust for Andean flute music.

[–] Evkob@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

From my experience this is honestly as good as any other definition in this thread.

[–] trevor@lemmy.blahaj.zone 83 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

I'm pan, and I think of it like this:

Pan means you're attracted to people regardless of their gender. Bi means you're attracted to more than one gender.

No hate though, if anyone else defines them differently. That's just how I see it.

[–] accideath@feddit.org 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yea, pan here, too. That’s how I always understood it. Gets a bit more nuanced though, when you include omnisexuality.

[–] CentauriBeau@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Omnisexuality??? Ok, I accept that as Gen X I’m old. I grew up stating I was Bi because that’s the term we had at the time. Now I still say Bi, but clarify “or really Pan as the kids call it nowadays because I believe all the toys in toy box are fun to play with and I value the person (and personality) over plumbing”. Now what is Omni?

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Omni people don’t like mixing Greek and Latin.

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[–] accideath@feddit.org 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (8 children)

Generally, it’s described as:

Bi: attraction to more than one gender
Pan: attraction regardless of gender
Omni: attraction to all genders

The difference between pan and omni is small and they’re often used synonymously. Most people I know, that fall into this category, identify as either bi or pan. Omni is exceedingly rare but it’s also not that new. I remember it already being an established thing when I first read about it almost a decade ago.

Edit: formatting

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

bisexual.py:

def is_sexually_attracted_to(self, other):
    return other.gender in self.preferred_gender

pansexual.py:

def is_sexually_attracted_to(self, other):
    # TODO: factors based on other traits TBI
    return True

Close enough?

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[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 65 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Debating identity definitions 😞

Accepting that identities are fluid definitions we made up 😎

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Correct! "Whatever floats your boat as long as it's consensual, just be safe and have fun" should be the only thing we need.

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[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I suspect in the long ago, there may have been some drama about bi implying only two, and people taking exception to that but we have since moved on after realizing it was a stupid argument. There were far more important things to argue about, like kink at pride.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

For a very long time I would respond to questions about my sexuality with "I don't like labels". I wasn't being glib or evasive, I just didn't like how diminishing it was to reduce my entire life's experience and decisions to one word. I tend to interpret the more creative labels people come up with in the same vein. For me, trying to enforce a rigid definition on other people's self-labelling misses the point entirely.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah, I'm bisexual because I need either a penis or a vagina for sex. I've run into others saying that this makes me transphobic, but as an AFAB agender person, I find it deeply disturbing that there's "progressives" out there who'll admit they can't respect me as a person if they don't want to fuck me.

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[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago

Not to be confused with getlaidmites and getlaidtights. :)

[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In my opinion they mean the same thing. I identify as bi because I like the flag more.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 2 points 22 hours ago

Same. Also, "bi" is only two letters and I'm lazy.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (6 children)

How about pansexuals who just say bisexual because there is better chance that people will actually know what you're talking about

(Just in casual conversation with strangers, obviously.)

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[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Bi means someone finds male and female genders attractive (masculine or feminine). They probably aren’t attracted to androgyny or less “traditional” genders (since it becomes pan).

Pan means gender doesn’t matter. Enbies, trans people, and anyone else could be attractive.

In other words, Pan is Bi++

If we aren’t splitting hairs, they are mostly used synonymously, but “pan” is more precise for folks that open to partners regardless of their gender.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

David: "I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine and I've been known to sample the occasional rose and a couple summers back I tried a merlot that used to be a chardonnay which got a bit complicated."

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I guess we should start teaching Latin in the Church-Schools so that MAGAts grow up knowing the roots of words. It might diminish any future sexual orientation hostility for those folks to understand that 2 and more than 2 are not synonymous. Once we get there, we'll be back to the 1950s!!!!

[–] kerrigan778@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Pansexual is explicitly inclusive of gender having more than two options. A bisexual person might be attracted to both men and women but may not be interested in genderqueer, third gender, intersex, or other "other" category people.

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago

bisexuality isn't inherently transphobic!

it's a general stereotype which, while it can be true on an individual level, certainly isn't when taken as a whole

here's the bisexual manifesto, also, since it goes hard: https://bitheway.carrd.co/#manifesto

[–] basiclemmon98@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's so funny that the queer community debates this when we could really just ask the average non-queer person to clarify it for us, and you'll find out that it really just means that we're confused and actually we're just gay.

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