Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
Is it clear?
Every piece of love advice I received as a kid in the 90s and 00s was equivalent to "try harder" or "pursue" or "don't give up" and they made it sound so good. My poor wife... The early years couldn't have been easy for her.
You're not alone. Same. My wife is wonderful and I'm glad she challenged me to question some of my behaviors.
Hey Alec thanks so much for stopping by! We're trans inclusive women only so please don't comment again and have a lovely weekend
Hey I'm a woman, why do you feel the need to say trans inclusive, and not just "women only" this is my first time discovering this instance. And it comes off as performative although I see you're drawing a line in the sand between you and the terfs-- but imo you're just acknowledging the existence of terfs more than validating trans women.
I don't think it's a useful strategy to not acknowledge the existence of terfs or trans people. In a lot of similar communities there is always the question of whether trans people are actually included or not, and even if so, who under the trans spectrum, which always makes me uncertain about my place.
And also, just ignoring problems such as terfs is not a solution. They exist whether their existence is acknowledged or not, sweeping things under the rug isn't helpful
Though, yeah, it is made clear in the rules, which I appreciate
Hey Mika welcome to WomensStuff we're really glad to have you. I say it for several reasons, including that we welcome all groups under the trans umbrella.
Hey Quantum thanks for your perspective! We're a trans inclusive women only community so please dont comment again thanks for understanding 😊
I'm go glad my mom taught me from a young age that no means no whether I say it or others do. Unfortunately the latter stuck harder than the former… Well actually if only one could stick I suppose the better did
A gross retort I heard that's always stuck with me: "a boyfriend's a speed bump, not a stop sign"
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Wish I could go back to my younger self just so I could tell that guy (and the others) to go fuck themselves.
"just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score"
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yeah me too
I knew a girl who said I wasn’t a man if I took no for an answer. She ended up raping me and giving me a disease but as a victim there was nothing I could do.
Cool story, bro. One that totally happened, I'm sure. Maybe you should share it in a group where your posting isn't explicitly against the rules?
One that totally happened, I'm sure.
what do you mean by this?
"aaahhhhahaha okayyy...", also no. But I probably need to work on being more direct.
Yeah I do basically the same thing, it's rough when you actually want something but on the outside seem uncertain or reserved because you internally constantly think people hate you haha. And then it makes it difficult for the other person
Probably why I enjoy saying like "do whatever unless I say [safe word]". But still something that I need to work on, and actually be like, directly communicating. It's healthy
Edit: on a second read, I slightly misinterpreted your comment, but I'll leave it
Thanks for all your reports in this thread guys! Really appreciate you helping the mods keep WomensStuff safe
Thanks to the mods for the unrewarding work of filtering away the incels, MGTOW, MRA, PUA, and "nice guys" that tend to plague any women's space.
Respect women with attitude.
I love this comment because I read it as show your respect via attitude.
I'm drunk is not an invitation. Fucken maggots.
Love this!!
Everyone deserves to be heard, especially when they so "no".
It’s a desire not a drive.
Also, if she SHOULD mean yes but says no she doesn't deserve it, for bad communication skills.
"I have a boy/girlfriend" doesn't necessarily mean anything. Times have changed, folks.
"I have a boy/girlfriend" is supposed to stop you.
"Do you mind that I have a boy/girlfriend? " is meant to keep your interest while being transparent.
Know what is being said.
I disagree with this sentiment that you are trying to convey. If language has to have intent assumed outside of context especially if the context is no -- "no" should just be said and that should be respected fully.
I mean if you're in a situation and they say "I have a boy/girlfriend" you could say "is that a no?" If for some reason you think it might not be.
Should is doing a lot of work here. Sadly no isn't respected still.
It must be nice to live in a world where there are zero men who behave like mental toddlers in the bodies of, well, men who become a real threat when told simple words like "no".
Most of us don't live in that world, but are insanely jealous of those of you who apparently do.
If someone is daying it in response to you hitting on them, it definitely does mean something. Even if someone might potentially be open to poly in another situation, if you're like "hey you're cute, wanna hang out" and they come back with "i have a partner" then thats them blowing you off for sure.
Yes, even us polyam people can understand this.
Incorrect, even us polyamorous people understand its intended meaning.
It never "necessarily" meant anything. But even today it usually means something. And specifically if it's being used in response to a pass, it means "NO".
But you probably already knew that, right? You're just arguing to be argumentative, right?
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Thoughts on this?
Sex should always be 100% consensual. If someone says 'no', then you must stop. If you don't then that's rape as far as I'm concerend. But would you acknowledge there's nuance in playful protest?
Also, there's also a growing (and understandable) feeling that consent can't be given under the influence of alcohol. However, where i come from our population would probably be half it's size if that were always true.
Also, if you have sex drunk and regret it later, there's an argument that the person you had sex with has taken advantage. That's a tricky one to navigate.
Haven't watched the video, but regarding the playful protest point
Discuss it beforehand. Talk about expectations or wants, say that you enjoy playful protest and want it to happen, and, most critically of all, set up a safe word. Have a word like "red" or "banana" or whatever else you want, that both of you agree upon, that, when uttered, everything stops.