this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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Atheist Memes

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[–] tanja@lemmy.blahaj.zone 55 points 1 year ago

Trans Jesus is canon βœ¨πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈ

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wouldn't the Y chromosome come from God, and that's where Jesus inherited this magic from?

Although Mary just went straight to heaven without dying, so maybe she had some magic in her genes...

All I know is the earth is definitely older than the sun.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

according to what i've heard when i was a kid, Mary birth was a miracle, her parents were to old or something and she was born without the original sin

[–] bitwaba@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Good ol' catholic origin stories.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Maybe Jesus was really bitten by a radioactive god?

[–] TheOneCurly@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I believe she is the "immaculate conception"

[–] Cosmicomical@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Fun fact, i was born with an original cos

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So... More credibility for raptor Jesus, I see

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

yeah well, still, fuck Ken ham.

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thing is... God's spunk is so mighty, it can get you pregnant through the back door, baby.

[–] CodeSalat@feddit.de 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] skooks@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Cold hard facts.

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Something that'd give some creationists a massive brain hemorrhage

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Do you know why people say, "Jesus H. Christ?" What's the H stand for?

Haploid, of course.

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

the end lmao

btw artificial insemination still keep the person "virgin"?, if so, god may have did that i guess lol

[–] JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm very sorry, but the first thought that popped into my head is of Mary opening up, going "alright if you get it in this time it's 50 points!".
"He shoots he scores!"

I can't imagine they'd have turkey basters in those days.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago

A lot of fun is had among Catholic teens who get sloppy with their outercourse, and boyfriend's sperm navigates from the inner labia down through the canal and into the uterus.

Then the girl and her doctor get to have giggles over an intact corona and an actively progressing pregnancy.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So only people with turner syndrome should be pope. Got it.

[–] jpreston2005@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

growing up in that time with Turner syndrome would have made for a very empathetic individual, and could very well have been the lynch pin to her teachings.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tina Turner can too, if she asks nicely.

[–] ApostleO@startrek.website 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What about Timmy Turner?

I feel like having fairy god parents would make pope duties a lot easier. Make his blessings a bit more potent.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Ok, him, Tina Turner and Detective Scott Turner of & Hooch fame, but no more! Under no circumstances must Ted Turner or anyone related to him be allowed to pope around.

[–] Cosmicomical@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Since she was supposedly human, the only X chromosomes theory is the most solid. Unless the holy ghost was not so ghost and had a more material way to make mary pregnant.

[–] Oiconomia@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

Is the space pope reptilian?

OMG! MARY WAS THE SERPENT IN THE TREE! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEEEEEE!

[–] FossilVerbrechen@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Man, it took me 20 minutes to understand this shit. Must be cuz I am no native speaker, not that I am just stupid

[–] chocosoldier@lemmy.blahaj.zone -4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

that last comment makes me lol. literally any distantly possible alternative to a character being queer.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Its apologetics 101. Start with the presupposition that the bible is correct, then find any way to make it not conflict with itself or with observations. Mary was a virgin, Jesus is male, only lizards can do that, the Bible doesn’t say she wasn’t a lizard, and yay we did an apologetics!