this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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What's a societal expectation you're glad you didn't meet? (lazysoci.al)
submitted 6 days ago by LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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There's a lot of societal expectations for women, and often we totally understandably end up meeting them cos we feel we have to. They also sometimes just don't happen for us. What's one you're glad you didn't meet?

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[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 33 points 6 days ago (3 children)

For me it's having kids. I never wanted them and people kept saying I'd change my mind, needed to meet the right person, my feelings would change if I had one etc. I always flat out refused and would point blank tell people this. I've never had kids, and I'm nearly menopausal and single so definitely won't. And I'm 1000000% happy I don't!

I love my freedom, children and parenting isn't my cup of tea and I've really done what's right for me.

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Same here. I've ended relationships with people I otherwise adored over their inability to accept this choice.

[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 7 points 6 days ago

Yes it's a dealbreaker. Not something you can compromise on!

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Same. I knew from a very young age that I didn't want kids and that has never changed. I got my tubes tied in 2006 and never looked back!

[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yep, I always say the best thing about being middle aged is nobody bugs me to have kids.

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, the pressure vanished when I hit the big four-oh. (It had been slacking off for the decade before it.)

One thing that ticks me off to this day is I could not find a doctor willing to do a tubal ligation if I hadn't already procreated and didn't have a life-threatening condition that called for it.

The same medical establishment that will give men a whole lot less of a hassle if they want vasectomies without procreating first.

[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 6 points 6 days ago

Yep!! Total double standards

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

So, I did go through a few years when I fancied the idea of having kids, but was never in a stable enough relationship for it to be fair on the kid ... also, being gay would have had to adopt, and you have to be well off financially for that!

I'm glad I didn't - so much would have had to be sacrificed, wouldn't have been able to move to another country, etc etc, and TBH I don't think I would have been a good parent because I would have resented them because of that.

[–] LadyButterfly@lazysoci.al 4 points 6 days ago

100% you did what's right for you.