this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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The Onion

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[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

He should step back from being alive.

[–] Sho@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

You beat me to it πŸ˜‚

[–] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ovaries everywhere just breathed a sigh of relief.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemm.ee 2 points 6 days ago

They shouldn’t β€” he’s still sending out unsolicited specimens.

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Yeah, a little late on this one the onion. He never stepped forward for fatherhood.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I thought he had already accomplished this a while ago.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Earlier this year he was still propositioning women on Twitter with offers of bodily fluids.

I don't doubt he'll continue donating sperm, I just don't think he's much of a father.

Gotta be tough when the gender-affirming surgery he had to put an implant in his dick rendered it useless

[–] Wazowski@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Fucking broads does not fatherhood make.

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 21 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Human children are such a disappointment he's going to focus on fucking robots now to have robot kids.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

Except even Grok hates him.

[–] Wazowski@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

He must have one of those robotic sex dolls. He’s so pathetic.

[–] Archangel1313@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

Neuralink was just his attempt at finding a way to upload his and his children's consciousness into Optimus frames.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

"You son of a bitch... I'm in" -Elon

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago

This shows, once again, that anything to do with the US is almost impossible to satirise.

[–] hypeerror@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago

They're all too big for him to wear around his neck as a meat shield. Time for plan B.