He should step back from being alive.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
- The Onion
- Clickhole
- McSweeney's
- Reductress
- The Chaser
- The Hard Times
- The Needling
- Tattletale Times
- The Beaverton
You beat me to it π
Ovaries everywhere just breathed a sigh of relief.
They shouldnβt β heβs still sending out unsolicited specimens.
Yeah, a little late on this one the onion. He never stepped forward for fatherhood.
I thought he had already accomplished this a while ago.
Earlier this year he was still propositioning women on Twitter with offers of bodily fluids.
I don't doubt he'll continue donating sperm, I just don't think he's much of a father.
Gotta be tough when the gender-affirming surgery he had to put an implant in his dick rendered it useless
Fucking broads does not fatherhood make.
Human children are such a disappointment he's going to focus on fucking robots now to have robot kids.
Except even Grok hates him.
He must have one of those robotic sex dolls. Heβs so pathetic.
Neuralink was just his attempt at finding a way to upload his and his children's consciousness into Optimus frames.
"You son of a bitch... I'm in" -Elon
This shows, once again, that anything to do with the US is almost impossible to satirise.
They're all too big for him to wear around his neck as a meat shield. Time for plan B.