Programmer Humor

Years ago when I still worked for companies as an employee my team had this PM that was so desperate to get things done and get them done early. I mean he was a nice guy but always pushing. The thing is though my team was pretty damn solid and we got stuff done early, all working, tests passed, all that cause we liked to play battlefield 3 and eve online together when we had the free time. Course we never told the PM this. Also the PM liked to motivate us with food if we worked late to get stuff finished. So we used this to our advantage and once or twice a week we allowed the PM to buy us dinner and beer/snacks because we told him we'd be working late to ensure deadlines were met. When in reality we'd just be in the office playing eve online together and wanted food and beer while we did so.

I don't feel bad for the project manager, he came from money, he constantly told everyone he came from money, so we took his money.

PM = Project Manager?

Prime Minister? Prime meridian? Protocol maintainer?

I used to work for (more accurately at since I was a contractor) a large cable company whose name rhymes with "bombast". Most of the people in charge of the projects I was working on (usually vice-presidents, a thoroughly overblown title there since there were hundreds of vice-presidents) were hopelessly technically incompetent and/or bordering on clinically insane. For a refreshing change of pace, I occasionally had bosses who were just soulless and amoral. None of them lasted more than a few months before they were suddenly and without warning disappeared. One day you would come in to work and their office was emptied out and they were never mentioned ever again. I'd like to think they were just fired and escorted out, but I would not be surprised to find they were executed and rendered down for the fats they contained.

My PM doesn't tell me to do anything. Their job is to prioritize things on the backlog and give status updates. Very, very rarely do they tell me that whatever I'm working on no longer needs to be done at all.

Generally speaking, if I do get an interruption, it's from the person above the Project Manager. And they're more of the "shit hit the fan" variety of problems that need to be resolved.

PM expert mode challenge: recall the last thing you asked for

Procrastination ALWAYS paid off for me.

Yeah, the amount of times I ignored tasks I didn't want to do and had them just disappear in a few weeks is actually insane. Occasionally I'll have something come back and bite me but in those cases I've just been like "Oh whoops, that one fell off my list" and then I do it, but for the most part it's frightening how little it seems to matter if I do my job or not.

You got a laugh outta me with this one. Heres your upvote